The Disciples

I don't really know what sparked this thought inside of me, but I really do wonder what the disciples were thinking after Jesus died. I mean, everything they had devoted their lives to in the past 3 years had just been crucified. They were leaderless, confused and afraid. Especially for Peter. Peter was the most straightforward of them. And Peter had just attacked a guy and cut off his year, denied Christ three times and was probably the most lost of the group at this time. But if you look in Acts, it's amazing to see what change the Holy Spirit had in him! He went from being the most lost to being the most outspoken of the apostles. And also, what joy must they have had in the upper room when Jesus appeared to them? That would have been an amazing sight to behold.
I feel like this has a deep connection inside me though, and it might have been what sparked this. It's been 3 years now since my dad died, and it's been a both long and short 3 years. When my dad died, that morning and throughout the day, I was confused, lost and afraid. Everything I had known and everything I had grown accustomed to had been stripped from me all in a moments time. I couldn't wrap my mind around the bigger picture. I remember sitting in my room in jeans and a sweatshirt, listening to the radio, and trying to get a grip on the whole situation. I was in shock, the gravity of what had happened hadn't hit me. I was so confused, I had no idea why God had let it happen, the only thing I had at that time left was faith, and a hope that God would use it for the better. And He did, more than I ever could have imagined. And the best part hasn't even come to pass yet. The bible says that we will have eternal life, and that we will be in heaven with those who believed and followed God. I will see my dad again someday, and I cannot imagine the joy of that day. All at once I will be with my father, Jesus, and My Father.
I have no doubt that the disciples were feeling similar things that I was. Obviously they had lost Jesus, and I only my dad. But like I said earlier, I have this heart deep connection with the apostles. And I can visualize what they were going through. Because I still have those memories of that day, or at least some. And when I read about Jesus death and the aftermath in the Bible, it stirs up those memories. But I definitely think that each time I think about that day, I get closer to God on a personal level. It's made me rely so much more on God and I know I wouldn't be here without it. And I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way, looking back on it, and I think the disciples would agree as well. God's plans are perfect, always.

Awesomeness

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 NIV)

A Heart Like David's

Now as many of you know, King David wasn't the most righteous person, he sinned constantly and even ordered a man to be killed so David could have the guys wife. Despite this, David had a very repentant heart and sought after the Lord with all of his heart. This is a huge example of what God desires in his children. He doesn't care I'd you do everything wrong, he wants a humble heart that desires him, repents, and turns from it's past ways. To me this is so cool because it shows that I don't have to be perfect, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. There is a song by Chris Tomlin called Your Heart. This song is about King David and it was actually what made me want to write this. Most of the song talks about how David never really wanted any glory for himself, but in not wanting the glory, he got glory, he never wanted riches, but he got them. David was about giving glory to God. I don't know about you but I desire to be like that. I want everything I do, everything I say, and just my presence to impact the people around me. I want to be an encouraging friend and a humble leader. Obviously I want to be more like Christ, but I think that David is a great example, especially for a kid my age. Because around my age now, David was serving Saul and patiently waiting for his time to come. And David was actively serving while waiting. We as Christians should really look at David's life and learn from it in so many ways. But look mostly at his heart.

One Cool Girl

So this year, I met this pretty cool girl named Jordan that was in my chem and algebra class. I never expected her to make an impact on me in all honesty, but once I started getting to know her and talking to her I realized how awesome she truly is. So in all honesty, I started liking her and I was really confused about whether to pursue a relationship that was more than just being friends. This sparked a time where I was really thinking about what the purpose of relationships were, and if it was right for me. After a long time of thinking about it and getting the advice of others, I decided against it. Despite this I still got to know her more and figure out just how awesome she really is. I've also seen a huge growth of Christ in her and that has been super encouraging. Also our fun times in algebra class made it tolerable, and having someone to laugh at all my jokes was a first. I really feel though, that she has impacted my life in more ways than even she knows. And I really hope that I have algebra with her this next semester, that would be awesome. By the way, if you don't know her, I'm sorry, and you should. =)

Change in Me

Alright, so I'm just going to say this straight up, my faith hasn't been where it needs to be within the past week and I really want that to change. Despite that, I feel like God is changing me and the way I live my life and especially my outlook on life. I feel recently that God has taught me how to love people as he loves them, and I'm not saying that I am perfect at doing so, but I do feel like God has challenged me to do this. And I believe loving people is one of our calls as Christians. We are not only to be set apart and different from the world, but to show them love while being set apart. Looking at kids in my classes at school, I not only see the desire for love, but also the lack of love they give out. It's sad for me to see people who treat each other with such disrespect and immaturity because if they had Jesus in their life, it would change them from the inside out. I also feel that God has been breaking my heart these past few weeks. I haven't been trusting God as much as I need to and I have been trying to do things on my own strength. But in me doing this, I have lost the strength to fight, to thrive, and to in all live. Something is missing inside my heart, and I know that thing is God. Through all of my "I can do this myself" mentalities, I have kicked God out of my heart saying, "You've done what needed to be done, now it's time to move on." But why? Why on earth would my selfish, self-centered heart decide to kick the one thing that has helped me through all of my struggles and deserves my praise? Because I want the praise for myself. I, unlike Christ, act like equality with God is something to be grasped. But by trying to achieve this, I have worn myself out because I used all of my strength to try to do things myself. 

But I will not give up, no. Because I know that God is waiting for me to come back to him. And no matter how much I don't deserve it, God will receive me back. God is my strength and my portion. He is all I need and want. When the world is crashing down around me I will not fall because my strength is found in God. I've realize that I have minimal if not any strength to do things on my own, and that all my strength is found in God. 

More poetry written by me

I feel God's love crashing in on me,
as if I were the shore upon a sea.
At times high, at times low,
sometimes falling gently as snow.
Yet always it remains the same,
for His son has bore our pain.
Nothing more, nothing less,
the Son of Man has giv'n us rest.
Forever praise the Song of God,
who has worn our shame, and spared the rod.
His scars remind us of that good day,
when He took all our sins away.
So let's remember today, when we drink our mocha,
that through His son, God sent the quota.
Of the love that our lives should bear,
of the love that we ourselves should share.
For God did not give so that we could hoard,
but for us to share that Christ is Lord.
This is our commission, 'tis our call,
to share to the masses, one and all.
For we are placed, right here, right now,
to advance His kingdom, ev'ry knee will bow.
Let's live for God this very hour,
so that through us He will reveal his power.
In everything, make God the story,
in everything, give God the glory.

What's been happenin

So I have a lot of things to talk about... First off, I feel like I keep desiring love and affection, more so from relationship/girlfriend side. And not to say that's wrong, I can just feel God tugging on my heart saying, "I am your satisfaction, I am sufficient for you and I am all that you need." That's not to say that I won't date ever or not marry, but for now I am going to rely on God for that and grow in that way.

Secondly, I am really proud of my brother. I have seen his faith grow so much in the past few months and seeing from what he's coming from makes it all the more encouraging. I really hope he gets accepted into Cedarville this spring and I think that would be so beneficial to him.

Thirdly and finally, I am so thankful for my friends. I know that sounds so typical and everyone says it a lot, but I truly mean it. I love my group of friends so much and you guys have been such an encouragement to me, especially in my faith but also just having a lot of fun. Plus I am really glad that it consists of boys and girls because it just adds so much more to the table. You guys are awesome.

So I guess I lied about the finally part... One thing I have been doing within probably the past month is I have been writing in a journal different bible verses that I find encouraging and flat out awesome. And it's not just writing their references down, but actually writing the verses. This has been so awesome looking back on it because it really encourages me and just helps me see how awesome God is. A trend I see developing with them is that I always write down the verses where God is saying, I will fight for you, I will be there with you and by your side. And I definitely feel like I love those verses the most because I have gone through situations, especially my dad's death, where I had to rely on God and He did fight for me and did keep my safe. God is so great though. He is so faithful and I really hope you see that in your walk with God because I have and it has been so incredible. In everything give God the glory in your life! Have a great day and may the Lord be with you in all that you do!

Poetry written by Adam

So I was in U.S History and instead of taking notes I wrote some short poems. So I am going to share them because I like them.

Despised and disposed, yet not defeated.
Loved and forgiven, the cycle repeated.
Sinning and hurting, but not condemned.
Replaced and died for, we're on the mend.
Risen and alive, the Son of God has conquered all.
The Sacrificial Lamb has reversed the fall.

Blood flow's down from Calvary's crest
Coming from the wounds engraved in Christ's chest
As pure of blood as there could be
Used to cleanse the sins of you and me

Death was shattered that very day
That Christ was killed, he made the way
He walked this earth and spoke the truth
The scars on his hands are the proof

They said he was led like a sheep going to the slaughter,
but he was far more than just a martyr.
They said he was dead,
if only they could understand he was the bread.
They said his body was taken,
then how did the guards leaved their posts shaken?
They say he was a good man,
but they don't even follow His plan.
They will say He is Lord.
They will say He is Lord.

Seconds - I Am Second

Seconds - I Am Second

Thankfulness

Well duh, what else would you think I write about? This is the obvious topic of this time of year, but I don't want to approach it as anyone normally would. Why are we thankful, rather, why should we be thankful? The answer is God. God is our creator, redeemer, and He sustains us. So let's think about this, we were created, saved, and are supplied daily with things to get through life. These things alone should be causing us to praise God and jump for joy and also to humble ourselves before our Lord and finally get it through our heads that we haven't done anything on our own. But alas, that is not the case because somewhere along the line it become only about us, meaning not about serving God, not about serving others, and not about being humble, but about us and how good we are at things. I do not know about you, but I for some reason can not recall the last time I created a whole entire world, saved it from destruction, and keeps it all going every day. The closest I got to that were army men and the fort I built for them out of Lincoln logs. Anyways, it all comes down to, "Why are we not praising God for what we have all day every day?" (Alle Tag jede Tag for you German speaking readers) All inside jokes aside, why are we not serving the God who is giving me the breath I'm breathing, or the sight your seeing with?  Why are we not using the life HE gives us to serve HIM so that HE will gain the glory HE rightfully deserves? I know one reason why. WE are focused on serving US so that WE will gain the glory that WE think we deserve. I am not condemning no one, I want to make that clear, because the moment I condemn another, I am condemning myself because I am no more righteous than they are because I have sinned so much that the bad would outweigh the good on a scale. But I am so thankful that God made a way for you and I to gain redemption we did not deserve so that our sins are forgiven. And I don't know about you, but I am tired of doing things on my own, for my own glory, and my own praise. To me that is not satisfying, it does not even compare to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ and doing things through Christ, for Christ's glory, so that the name of Christ will be praised. I know that I am really rambling here and switching between things often. But bear with me please. This thanksgiving I want to do something different than the classic, God I thank you for this, God I thank for that. While that is all fine and dandy, I want to act like I am thankful for it, not just say it. I want to make a difference by being different. By living my life as a testimony to my thankfulness. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful, but I encourage you to act like it and not just say it. In all things, work for the glory of God so that His name is praised. Have a great day!

In My Opinion

Obviously this is a bland title, and that was the point because I really had no other way to put it. So recently I have been thinking about dating relationships and how so often guys are like, super attractive and all the girls fall all over them. Obviously that isn't me, and you may think I'm crazy but I am glad that I am not that way. The reason is that I want to earn a girls affection and respect, not settle for it. I feel like that if I go for a girl who already likes me, there's no challenge and therefore I will take that girl for granted. To clarify things, I am not saying I want a girl to give me the cold shoulder, but what I am saying is that I want a chance. Now you might think me weird, and that's normal, and you also may find this very random, which it is. There is also another, more important aspect to this though. Obviously God loved me before I ever loved Him, but I did not settle for His love. There is no love more greater than His. But I feel like so often, too often, I take His love for granted and go about this world searching for a way to fulfill that desire for love. This comes from me not realizing the importance of the cross and the price Jesus paid for me with His blood. There is no way to earn this love, you just have to accept it.

The Importance of the Cross

The other day I watched a testimony of a man on iamsecond.com (it's awesome) names Jim Munroe. He was saved by a blood transfusion or something like that. And he talked about how similar that is to everyone with Christ. If there was no shedding of His innocent blood, there would be no salvation for sinners. There is a line in a Lecrae song that says "I need a blood donor, I need a transfusion, He's hanging on the cross for me, substitution." Christ died to save us! We are just as responsible for flogging, mocking, and crucifying Jesus as the Roman soldiers who actually did it. At high school I see a lot of things and one thing I see pretty often is people living their lives as if it's theirs to live. I just want to ask them these questions, "Did you create yourself? Did you gain your own salvation? Are you more important than God?" The answer is obviously no, but the way I see people live their lives it seems to me like their answers would be yes. We owe God everything because He has given us everything! If it wasn't for our sin then Christ would not have had to be crucified, but it is because of us that Jesus died. But Jesus did not die without a reason, He died to save us because of the Father's love for us. God does not want us to view this lightly, because I don't know if you have ever lost somebody but from my experiences, it's tough and the separation that Jesus must have felt when He was away from God for even that short amount of time must have been unbearable. This is what makes His death on the cross important. Christ was in extreme pain because of us humans. The reason He did this though was to save us from death. And the only way you can be saved is by trusting in Him and following Him. The application of this is that you shouldn't take your relationship with God lightly, it should be something you grow in daily and something you are putting a lot of time into. Whether that be reading God's word, worshiping Him through prayer, song, or just by the way you live your life, and also by sharing this amazing love God has for us with others. Guys, this is urgent news! Jesus is coming back and we shouldn't be waiting to work for Him. God has us in the place we are now for a reason and we need to share this good news with the world! This should be something we are actively praying about and it is what our minds should be set on doing. We need kingdom focus. 

Another thing God's put on my heart is that there is no in between, no grey area when you follow Jesus. You're either all in, or against Him. So many people think that Jesus was a good man and a good teacher but Jesus wasn't the Christ or as important as we make Him out to be. I was talking with one of my good friends about this and one thing he has heard before and I use it now, Jesus was either a liar, a lunatic or Lord. If you do not believe that Jesus was your savior, then He was not a good teacher for you because what people do not realize is that Jesus was anti-cultural, a rebel, and enemy of the religious structure. People who say that Jesus was a good teacher has either never read His teachings, or has accepted Christ as their savior. There is no in between. I stress this to you who read this because JESUS IS COMING BACK! We have urgent work to do people, lets put this thing in drive and hit the gas! I urge you to take His word into your heart, and for you to grow daily in Christ and to also share the good news in these dreary times! Let's Go!

Why try when you know you will fail?

This question is one that we all face at least at one point in our life and depending on your personality, it could be daily. I was bored in class one day so I decided to make a list of reasons why you should try and what the benefits of trying are. I started out with the obvious one...
1. Everything is possible with God
    This one is self-explanatory, the only thing you have to do is rely on God.
2. You only think it's impossible
    People look up at mountains in life and think that there is no way to climb it, but if you rely on God like I already said, it won't necessarily be easy but it will be possible.
3. You learn about yourself
    When life is easygoing it's easy to be someone you're not, but when life gets hard, it scrapes off all the fake to reveal the real you.
4. You develop patience and perseverance
    If you go through many trials like all humans do, then you will tend to see that rash decisions lead to harsh outcomes. It also makes you push through things to get to the other side and once you do you realize the importance of those too. It's comparable to a running back in football. If he just runs straight into a pile, he will most likely be tackled, but if he waits for the right hole to go through he will be fine. And if he is a few yards from the endzone, he will do everything he can to get that touchdown.
5. You will not know if you do not try
    How do you know something is impossible if you never try it for yourself. And if you hear someone else say it is not possible, that just means for them. It could very well be possible to you.
6. It gives you faith to step out into the unknown
    Be a Peter, do not be afraid to step out on the water, even if you start sinking because the Son of God is right there to save you.
7. It develops mental toughness
    This kind of goes with perseverance, do not give up on something that is even a little possible.
8. It causes you to rely more on God
    I know for me that for me to completely rely on God, I need to be broken and defeated. So if you try something and you fail, it will cause you to rely on God. I'm not saying try it on your own first then go to God, but I am saying that you being broken will allow you to rely on the only one who can save you.
9. It throws laziness and selfishness aside
    If you have to give everything to God to go through a certain trial or anything along those lines, you realize quickly that it is not about you and there is nothing you can do without God's help. So when you try something "impossible," you cannot be selfish and you cannot be lazy, otherwise you will not succeed.
10. Allows you to find purpose
    I have been thinking a lot on purpose lately and coming from what I have come from I can tell you personally that I have found purpose when trying things that once seemed impossible but became possible with God's help.
11. You may not be kept from despair, but shows you to the One who can
    Just because you are relying on God does not mean everything will be perfect. It's quite contrary actually. If you look at Job, you will see that he was a righteous man yet he still had those things happen to him. Through all of that though Job still sought after God and relied on Him.
12. God is good always
    This is one lesson that can be learned because after the death of my dad, my immediate reaction was, "God, why did you let this happen?" Later I realized, through God's guidance, that there is always a bigger picture and it will always will turn out a masterpiece for those who follow Christ alone.

 None of this may make any sense but I pray it does. Have a great day!

Satisfaction

I was reading in Mark and it struck me that even after Jesus had fed 5,000 people, the disciples doubted that He could feed 4,000 people. The reason it stood out to me is that we do the same thing when it comes to getting satisfaction from God. God satisfies us in so many ways, yet we still find it necessary to go out into the world and try to find satisfaction through it. God's satisfaction is eternal while the worlds is not. I'm guilty of it. I get so satisfied in Jesus then I go out and try to satisfy myself with things in the world. That is so wrong because God made us to have pleasure, but to find that pleasure in Him. What's not to enjoy about God as well? I feel like the world has so corrupted the idea of fun, pleasure, and happiness. All of these things can be found in God yet the world says that they are found in things like sex, money and drugs. The truth is that God is more fun, more pleasing, and makes you happier than anything the world can create. Recently I've been focusing myself more on God and being more centered around glorifying Him. I can tell you that I have never been happier, never been more pleased, and never had more fun than I have had serving Him. Looking back at when I've tried to be pleased by the world, it's amazing how big and important the difference is. The devil definitely takes some truth, and manipulates so it feels right and looks right, but it does not meet up with God's standards, and that one thing makes the difference. Anything that God does not approve of, no matter how close, is sin. Close doesn't cut it with God. The bible says "For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." This is direct from Jesus that close does not cut it. It shouldn't be surprise, going back to the original topic, that God is more satisfying than the world. Obviously God created the world, and satan, so anything created by them will be lesser and not as satisfying. So all in all, true and fulfilling satisfaction is only found in God and I challenge you to look only to God for satisfaction!

I am a Disciple

How I've Seen God Recently

In FCA on Thursday, the group was asked how they have seen God work recently. Not many people answered  and I wanted to answer but I could not get my thoughts to process. So after further thinking this is my answer to that question. I have seen God in so many ways recently. I will start off with how I have seen Him in others around me. As I have gotten older in high school and more of a leader in my youth group, I have come to grow to enjoy watching younger kids along with my peers grow in Christ. It makes me excited to see others get excited about Christ and it also really encourages me to see God working in them as He is working in me. The way I see God also working in my life is through myself and how much He has been teaching me recently. I feel this flame inside of me that keeps growing and I can not keep it inside of me. It makes me want to pour out my relationship with God to others and share with them in this love God has for all of us. God has an overflowing love for me, just as much as he does with you, and I feel like that love is brimming over the capacity of my heart so that I desire to share it with others. The problem then comes, at least with me, is carrying that out. I want to be a leader to the people God has allowed me to lead, but to do that I need to be servant. I realize that it is not me who needs to be first, but God and others, in that order. I feel like I have grown so much even in these past few weeks and that is so God working in me. I challenge you to let your heart to be open to God's work in you. And actively seek God in your everyday life. He is always there. He is always working.

From the Heart

I really am bad at starting these blogs, and I think that half of my blogs have started this way. I just want to just release some tension that's been on my heart for awhile. It's finding the line between good works and strong faith. One thing that has pressed this point is that I'm reading a book called Radical Together by David Platt. In it he describes how there are normally two ends of the spectrum in the church. The one who has faith but no works to show for it and another who has works but is not sure of their salvation. Let me clarify that I am no expert on such things, just speaking my mind. Anyways, Platt says that they are both wrong. The bible clearly says in James that faith without action is dead, but it also says that we can not gain salvation by works. To use Platt's line, we were saved from work to do work. Work is not our means to salvation but it is the byproduct of our faith. If you have true faith, good works will follow. That's not to say that if you don't have good works you are not saved. How this affects me is that it really gets me thinking on how I am letting God working in my life through my faith. I feel like I am involved in so much, but I also feel like I'm not doing anything. One thing I struggle with also is that I don't give my actions or involvements to God, instead I try to do them myself and that never works. The less I am, the more He can become through me. This does not mean that God will not be able to do something without me. But I want to be honored to let God use me. And I feel like we view working for God as a job that has to be done otherwise nothing will be done. When we think this way though, we are making God our servant, which is so wrong in so many ways. As Christians we should really be inclined to think that when we are serving God, it is a privilege and an honor, not a hassle. This all comes down to the where our hearts are though. I really do not know if I can express how much the topic of the heart means to me. I say that because there are so many things in the scripture that show how important your hearts standpoint is. Let me also say this, Christianity is not just a religion, especially not a "If you follow these 5 steps you will get your 'Get in to Heaven Free' card" type of religion. It is a heartfelt religion that has the one and only God in the universe, and He desires a relationship with you. I feel like I'm just rambling on here and I will end this shortly. It all comes down to this, God loves you, He desires for you to know and praise Him, He showed this by sending His son to save all of us unworthy people and even when things seem the hardest, He is still with you. God will not forsake you.

Purpose

I found it funny that my pastor spoke on the purpose of relationships this morning considering the fact that the purpose of relationships have been on my mind all week and is something I've struggled to come to terms with. So within the past month or so, I've met someone whom I'm now becoming friends with. And one thing that she's made me think about is the purpose of relationships. Now it wasn't really something we talked about, but an underlying thought that's been brought to the surface in my mind. And it's made me come to the realization that all relationships are meant to glorify God and bring each other closer to Him. This has really made me think about my friendships more closely, not just with her but with everyone. Am I showing Christ's love through my friendships with people and am I drawing them closer to God? My answer was honestly, no. I don't feel like I have been doing a well enough job of doing that, of sticking by my friends and through my words and actions leading them closer to God. One thing my pastor said this morning was "God made us for relationships." With that I totally agree because we were not made to be hermits, but to have relationships with others. Whether they be friends or enemies, we all have relationships with people. And I feel like God has really challenged my heart to not just affect those I love and bring them closer to Him, but also those that I do not really enjoy being around and even those who metaphorically spit in my face. It shouldn't matter what type of relationship we have with people when it comes to showing Christ's love to them and bringing them closer to God. And if they're unsaved, it may be the only way they will see Jesus' all-encompassing love for them.
This led me on to think about my relationship with my God, and with my Savior. What's the purpose of knowing them and following their teachings? It all points back to one thing and it is that we need to worship God with all we have, all we are, and our relationships with other people. That's the purpose of our relationship with God. We were made to worship God. God never had a thought in His head that said "I need to create a super important species called humans so that I can serve them and be there for them." That wasn't why He created us. God does not need us! We need Him. There's a reason we pray to Him and not He to us. He doesn't ask us for things, He commands us. God is not an ATM or a vending machine, conveniently placed for our benefit. He made us. And if I'm correct, I wasn't made my a vending machine. God has given us all we have and all we are so that we can worship Him. One way to worship God, as I said before, is through relationships with others. So I want to challenge you with this. What is the purpose of your relationships? Are you looking for your own benefit and happiness? Or are you trying to bring that person closer to Christ than they were before? We should all strive to for that. There is a purpose in our relationships, they aren't just there. They are there so we can worship God through them and bring others closer to Jesus so that there life will be bettered by knowing Him better.

The End

If you took a glance around our world, you'd probably start to notice how much is focused on goodbyes, on the end, on the finale. But what about the beginning? The in between? What happened to people rejoicing when their friends arrived? I know when my friends get to my house, I just open the door and say "Hey, what do you want to do?" What we should all be saying when our friends arrive is "Hey! Welcome! I'm glad you could come! How have you been?" And I know that when my friends are over, the constant question is "When do you have to leave?" I find this focusing on the worst part of joining up with friends, and I don't know why it's the focus of so many questions. It's true that everyone has to go eventually, and that everyone dies, but why do we act like it's hopeless and nothing is worth our time? That we all have to rush to get places, instead of taking the scenic route or slowing down to notice things that you've never noticed before or even looking at the things you've taken for granted all your life. Let me ask you this, why not focus on the in between? Are we too focused on the end result that we forget about the path getting there. If you were to take Lord of the Rings for example. If Frodo just rode an eagle over into Mordor, dropped the ring into Mt. Doom and left, which would have been easier, would he still realize how much he loved the Shire, or see Sam's loyalty and devotion. There would be no lessons learned. That applies to real life as well in the fact that we look so forward to the end result that we miss all the lessons learned in between. That's also the primary reason that God gives us hardships and trials to deal with because of the spiritual, emotional and personal growth that one can gain from going through such endeavors. The ending is just important as the beginning or middle but it's not more important. Make every minute with a loved one or loved thing count because you never know the time when you will have to say goodbye. Do not focus on the end of such things, rather the time you have and the present. I am not saying that you should not be aware of things that will most likely happen in the future such as death among others, but that you should not train your eyes to them. How I long for the day when we shan't need to say goodbye anymore, where tears of sorrow will be replaced by tears of happiness and rejoicing. For that day when the Lord comes down again will be like the green of spring coming down out of the darkness of winter. When evil shall be no more and love shall abound. Where we will be with God, and our friends and family and all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. To me that is no end, but rather a new beginning. And one I am looking forward with all of my heart!

This Is Me

On my mind I consistently have the thought, who am I really? My answer is that I am a person. A child of the Living God and Servant of Christ. I like gloomy fall and winter days, they help me think better and ponder deeper thoughts. I like things that are dark and have an certain feel. This is really hard to say because I don't have a good way to describe it. Some people like flowers and sunshine and summer, although those are good and I like them when I'm in certain moods, I prefer the moonlight, snow, leaves of fall, dreary days, and hopeless situations. It is there where I feel I'm closest to God as well. I have to lean more on God than on myself and in my opinion, the more out of my hands the better. This is really hard to say because it makes sense in my mind but I can't make light the thoughts I have sometimes. I also love women, not particularly a woman, but their kind in general. It's through them, a select few of close girl friends I have, that I see God and his beauty and grace and kindness and love and passion and this list could go on and on. But I want to focus on the beauty aspect of it for now. Women are beautiful. Plain and simple. They remind me a lot of the beauty of fall mixed with the freshness of spring combined with the graceful fall of snow in the winter (It's a compliment) added with the joy of summer. But I digress. I enjoy reading my Bible, and I love listening to music. I love slowing down and watching the world go while taking time to look at the simpler things of life. I love pouring out my heart to my Lord, even if it means I cry, and how much I grow closer to God through those. I love my friends and family and will always stay by them. I sing really loud in the shower and I'm not ashamed of that. Being myself is one of my first priorities, and school is not one of my first priorities. I love helping people in need or just giving people advice and if you ask me I will help you, on anything. I absolutely love to read and how they transport me into different worlds. I've always wanted to gallop on a horse, and also I want to ride a lion. I look at the smaller things in life just as much as the big. I don't get easily stressed out and try to keep a level head on things. I am stubborn but can be persuaded if the reasoning is good enough. I love women, especially those close to me, you know who you are. I love my friends, especially those close to me, you know who you are too. And I love my God, and I am blessed that He knows who I am and that He is always close to me. This is me.

I Was Born in the Wrong Time Period

So I totally should be working on my English paper, but this is much better because I can actually talk about what I want. So the reason that the blog is titled the way it is is because I think that all the time. I wish things were more personal, like how they used to be. Today, there are many ways of communicating to people instantly, like texting, social networking, and emailing. What happened to plainly talking? I enjoy that so much more, there is way more emotions shown, it's more personal and more than just skin deep. I want relationships that I can say whatever I have to out loud instead of not confronting someone on something or by texting or something. I wish that people were more confrontational as they used to be. If someone has an argument nowadays, its either over texting, or includes hitting and or kicking. I just want it to be like old days when someone did something wrong, they'd be publicly called out for it or even privately but person to person. Don't get me wrong, I like using technology, but I just wish it hadn't done away with the more personal days. Where if you liked someone or thought she was pretty, you would tell them face to face, not through a friend or a phone.
I also have a weird aspiration to learn how to blacksmith and make it a hobby of mine. I think it'd be really cool. Then I'd be able to make swords and wear them around places. This brings me to the next point which also takes me back to something I already talked about. I wish wars were still fought with swords and on the strength or agility of a man and not on guessing and shooting. I'd much rather die in a battle of swords or a bow and arrow then a bullet. The reason why is that the sword is more confrontational and personal.
Finally, what ever happened to women liking beards? I think they're manly and awesome, well, only if they're not super long. But seriously!? I want to grow one really bad. I don't care if girls like it or not because I want one and also a girl should love me just as much or even more for my personality as my physicality. Call me old fashioned or weird, but people should be more confrontational and personal with people, use swords, and women should actually like beards and not be freaked out by them. This may have been brought on by Lord of the Rings, but I think they're valid points that really should be considered =)

Being a Man

Alright, so I couldn't think of a better title, and yes, I know it's similar to my post yesterday, but they're about different things. So I saw the movie Courageous tonight, and it had a message that I cannot, and will not forget. So if you know anything about it, you'd know that it is about being a Godly father, and Godly man as well. And believe it or not, I'm not a father yet nor do I have any plans to do so anytime soon. Back to the reason I'm writing this. The movie had some really valuable points on being a man, and there were some things that I took out of it that I know will help me grow as a young man in Christ. I saw how the impact of having a Godly father has on young kids, boys or girls. If you know me then you would most likely know that my father passed away almost three years ago this winter, and I miss him, and I didn't realize until now how much of an impact he really had on me. He taught me valuable lessons on being a man and following after God's heart and also leading a family. He may not have said all these things in words, but it is said that actions speak louder than words. Seeing my dad's good example, although he wasn't perfect, makes me want to raise my kids up in a Godly household someday and being a father that chases after their hearts with the same burning passion that I would chase after my future wife's (Lord willing).
When my father died, I lost more than a dad, I lost a role model and someone to look up to for advice, at least so I thought. I saw Godly men in my life all around me, and not having an earthly father made me look more to my Heavenly Father. But the Lord really used this circumstance to draw me close to Him. Because I know that God desires after my heart with a burning passion and love that only a father can have for their son. And I'm starting to see what a man who chases after God's heart has to go through. It's not always easy, it's not always fun, but it is always worth it. I see that it requires sacrifice, honesty, nobility, a pure heart, a desire to grow, a passion for love, and yearning to know my Father more. Being a man doesn't mean that we have all the right answers, but it means that we stand up for what's right, to be courageous and stand for God, even if we stand alone. I want to be a role model for my kid's, if I have any, someday. And I want young women to see the strength of God in me to be the leader of a relationship or anything, and that I desire the best for them, whether it be friendships or dating or whatever it may be. I want what's best for you and that I will stand by you when no one else will, and that I will fight for you, whether it be for your heart, or for your safety. For my guy friends, I want to be a better friend, a Godly friend who encourages you in your faith, and sticks up for you even when the whole world is crashing down on you. I want to be a better man, and I know that I haven't reached the worldly status of being a man yet, but that doesn't mean I can't do more with what God has blessed me with. I know I'm doing a sufficient job of being a Godly young man, but I don't want to be sufficient, I want to be surpassing. Overachieving. And I don't know exactly how that looks now, but I know it starts with what I said a few lines ago. I know I won't always be perfect, and perfect is too much to expect, I just need to move, because there are so many ways I can improve. I want to be held accountable by people, so please try your best. This is my resolution.
  Stand strong for God, even when you're alone.

Being a Gentleman

I feel like this topic is a universal one that isn't taught as much as it should to guys and it is really showing in the way they treat girls. First of all, girls are NOT property, they are a prize, a treasure that should be treated with an utmost respect, sincerity and kindness. Secondly, do the little things. If a girl is walking into a building that has a door, open it for her. Yes, she is perfectly capable of doing said action, but you should still do it out of respect and being nice. Also, it doesn't matter what age the girl is, she could be 45 and married and you should still open the door for her, or she could be your age and the one you like (in this case, you should definitely be a gentleman). Either way, be polite. Another thing is that if you as a guy have a jacket and a girl is freezing to death, give it to her because like I said earlier, they should be treasured and that means keeping them comfortable. Obviously there are many things that guys should do for girls, and I don't have time to mention them all. But the overlapping message here is that guys should treat girls with respect and not as a lesser being. Sure guys and girls don't see eye to eye on things (height or opinions) but that doesn't mean that we as guys are always right or that girls are always right. Back to my original point, I honestly think that guys should be like shepherds to girls. Before you start making assumptions, I am in no way saying that girls are mindless creatures wandering around. Rather I am saying the opposite. Guys should be willing to fight to protect girls in the face of all adversities, and it shouldn't matter if they're fat, skinny, pretty, or ugly, but that they're a girl. And God, in my opinion, poured out His beauty and grace into this gender. All girls have some sort of beauty in them and if they try even the slightest bit. So to all the girls reading, you're beautiful in God's eyes as well as in mine. This leads me to another point, girls should be treated as princesses by guys. And no, I am not saying as in Disney movies, but as in real life princesses. I say this because girls are beautiful as mentioned before, and they are also elegant and noble in heart (girls, don't forget this and make sure you try your best to live up to that). All in all, guys, yo need to step it up in being gentlemen, because unfortunately I am seeing way to many girls being treated harshly and badly. This doesn't let girls off the hook though, because we as guys may not always be perfect in treating girls right but some of us do make an effort and girls, just keep on being beautiful. Also, girls, don't take this as me saying girls are better, because we are equal overall and better than the other at certain things. 

Love

So i just finished a Ted Dekker book that really emphasizes love and it really made me realize how messed up love is in our culture today. Nothing is so important as love. And love has a faulty definition in our world today. Love is just a kissing show, a sexual lust for another that is usually done outside of marriage. But the true definition lies in the bible. Obviously, 1 Corinthians 13 is one of them. But also theres the fact that God sent his son to die on the cross for you. Think about how much that really is for a second. He gave His son, to die for us, who had sinned against Him. That is love folks! Plain and simple. Those 2 things define love. Now how does this affect us today? I would just say, keep a leveled head view of love. A biblical view of love. No doubt love comes in many ways, whether it be in marriage, dating, friendships, or just in random acts of kindness. Don't love out of obligation. And also, especially in the dating, the kissing and hugging and such should be a result of the love you have for one another. I see so many couples in the hallways kissing and hugging and what i always want to ask them is this the only love their showing each other? Because unfortunately thats how it goes. The original love is based off of physical attraction and the only love they show each other is physical. I'm not saying that kissing and hugging and such are bad but just make sure they don't become the relationship. Love is one of the most truest passions and it is also one of the funnest but it is also the most dangerous. I know i'm kind of rambling on and like a circle this is kind of pointless. But i just felt like saying some of this stuff. Don't ever let the cross become a symbol of religion, instead, let it become a symbol of love. ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Making an Impact

I feel that recently God has really laid it on my heart to make an impact to the area around me, and that doesnt mean that im going to get fat. Ok, so enough with the humor, if it was humorous as most of my jokes arent. But in all seriousness, i feel like im not being enough of an influence to fellow Christians and to non-Christians alike. I want to be more outgoing about Christ and more of an encouragement in my faith in Christ and really set example for all who are around me, especially the younger generation. But unfortunately ive wasted so many opportunities to share Christ and what He's done for me in my life. I know that God has blessed me with an amazing testimony thats unique to me and that can really change lives if God wants that to happen, but im too shy to share it sometimes and i know thats wrong. Im trying to make the right moves when i step out to share my faith but i dont feel like im succeeding because im a failure at it so many times. Thankfully it is by grace i haved been saved and not by works so i can boast. Recently i shared my testimony at my schools FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes) and i honestly dont know how many peoples lives i affected. I know a few people said that it was encouraging and that was a blessing to me. And in a few weeks im sharing the gospel at a bonfire my youth group is having. But i feel like thats not enough. I know God can do major things through me but im always preventing Him from working because of my stubbornness and laziness and having too big of an ego, even though i should have no boast except that of which is in the cross. All in all im just struggling with being an impact for God and really living up to all that God made me to be. My daily walk has been better and im hoping that will help me reach out to others more. i want to ask for prayer in being bold and growing a passion for the Lord and for advancing His kingdom. Another thing im struggling with personally, and yes i know im kind of venting now and i apologize but bear with me, is what God's plans are for me in the here and now. Whether it be about getting a job, girl situations, or just my daily walk and where i plan on going with it and where i want it to reach and so on. the list is ever long. i just need prayer for that as well. sorry for the venting, i just needed to get it out and also ask for prayer on it as well. Thanks for bearing with me!

It's a Heart Thing

Ok, so my youth pastor talked about this tonight at my youth group. But i was actually planning on writing something tonight about it beforehand. Anyways, the heart is the center of your being. It affects your life, your spiritual desires, your everything. I've been struggling with this with God the past few nights. Is my heart where it should be? Am I really giving Him my all, or is it just topical? Is my heart filled with God, and not me? And what God has really shown me out of this, is that my heart always has room to grow, but also that giving my all looks so different than what I've been doing. I need passion. Passion to read His word, to fellowship, to worship, to praise Him, to grow in Him. So I am pretty much saying i need passion to do everything. I realized through my wrestling with God, that I have been too prideful, looking too much at the outside things, instead of becoming like God and focusing on the heart. Let me ask you this, is your heart where it should be? where it can grow? I know mine hasn't been. Tonight at my youth group, we sang here i am to worship. I love that song, and it really impacted me because of the bridge at the end, "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." My heart, IS NOT MINE! I never had to pay anything to save it. My heart BELONGS to Jesus! No one else, no matter how many things around me try to tempt me and take my heart away from Him, I will not give in. Because I have the Lord's strength in me. Because ever since that blood dripped from his skin, blood that should have never been on this earth in physical form. Ever since that blood hit the ground. It was over. Over, for sin, for Satan, for my heart. He had won my heart. He saved me from the clutches of the abyss to raise me up higher than the mountains. My heart is not my heart any longer, but belongs to Him. And since it belongs to Him, I want to fight for it so that it stays that way. Because if you change your heart, you change your actions. And you have two choices, choose to give your heart to sin that only leads you on a downward spiral, or choose to give it to Christ, who formed you. Who bled for you, who put his passion and love and life into us, so that we may be saved. I know I'm jumping around a lot here, but what I'm trying to get at is that we owe Christ everything, and it starts with your hearts. I dont know who you will give your life to, but I'm choosing to give my heart to Christ. And pour my passion out on those around me. So that they may see my good deeds and praise our Father in Heaven. Be passionate about the Lord. Because He gave His passion for you. I want to leave you with this, "What am I without God? Who am I without God?" Surrender your heart to God, not just topically, but to your very core, surrender it to Him, and live your life for your savior. Sorry for the disorganization, i just felt like pouring out my heart.

Hopeless

I was just thinking of how people can go through struggles where they feel like they can't get back up, and no one can help. They make you feel broken, defeated, hopeless Thinking of this made me think of Jesus in his last days on this earth in physical form. He was unjustly accused, slandered, tortured, pierced, hung, and to this earth, defeated. One thing happen that neither the devil nor us could imagine. When all hope was lost, Jesus sprang up from the grave which concealed him and there He stood, victorious. He conquered the once unconquerable, made possible the impossible. And there was hope. There still is hope because He is coming back soon. Jesus gave hope to the hopeless and gave strength to the weak. When we lose hope in life, go to God because there is always hope in Him. ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

What's been on my mind...

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, especially after the fall retreat, of how am i leader now, and how i should be a leader. First of all, being a leader is something i strove for especially in regards to the younger kids, in Chi Alpha or in school. I try to lead by example, because as it's said, "actions speak louder than words." Then it hit me hard on the fall retreat of how much better of a leader i am if i really do stand up for what's right and use words to portray the message im trying to get across along with using my actions. Like i said earlier, I strove to be a Godly leader, solid young man in Christ and to be courageous, showing no fear in the face of my enemies, whether it be the devil or myself or someone else, to never falter in my belief of God and my relationship with Him, and keep Him first. But as ive matured, ive realized not all of those are always going to be there, I may struggle with my belief for a time or my relationship with Him, or give in to sin or to do things i shouldnt, that doesnt mean i still cant be a leader during those trials. We all know how it goes, our relationship with God goes up and down, from mountains to valleys and back up again on and on and on. But who's to say i cant lead someone while im in a valley, to set an example for someone else when there in the same situation. That is my goal.
I also feel like i havent been the leader i should be, whether it be in Chi Alpha or FCA or wherever. I sit back too often and watch things happen but im always too afraid to jump in the fray and stand up for what's right. The fall retreat made me realize that all too much. I know that God has a plan for me in my life, and i need to not be afraid to jump out of my shell that ive been hiding behind too long and follow that plan. I want to know God, and walk closely with Him as David did, I want to know God like that. Too often in this culture do we get sidetracked by stupid things, and get held back from sharing the name of Jesus because of our ego's, i need to lego my ego. God is the most important thing in my life and i need to start living my life that way, not in the silent Christian lifestyle (which isn't bad, it's just not for me) but in the radical, "wow, that kids got something that i want" way of following God. I know God has something in plan for me, what it is exactly i dont know, but i trust God will reveal it to me in time. I want to be radical, to rebel, to have my life revolve around Him. If you were wondering how you could pray for me, this is it. Pray for me that i will God to whatever end and to stand strong and be courageous. "Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love." Ephesians 6:23-24

Don't Be Like Esau

"See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done." Hebrews 12:16-17 This seems pretty simple considering most of us think of Esau to be stupid in this decision, but in all honesty, are we really any different? I know i normally look down on Esau because of this decision, but we are all on the same level of stupidity. We all realize that in the story, that his inheritance would have lasted a lot longer and had more satisfaction than that bowl of soup, but in his mind, he desired immediate gratification, are we really any different? God allowed us to be part of Jesus' inheritance, eternal life, to spend with Him, but we have not received it yet so it doesnt seem as real as it will be that day when the Lord calls us home. The same goes with Esau in the sense of his inheritance didn't seem as real until the day came when his father died. So, are we really any different? We as humans, run around life trying to find immediate gratification (just like Esau, see the connection yet?). We forgo our inheritance for worldly things that will pass away with the blowing of the wind, or the passing away of time. God gives us a choice, inheritance that is eternal(which includes being with Him forever), or trying to find the happiness in this life that will satisfy you. The reason that i use trying instead of finding, is because you won't find happiness in this life that will satisfy you. Sure you'll have happiness for a temporary time, but not for long. Satisfaction that comes from God is eternal and it is always there. There's a lot to learn from the story of Jacob and Esau. The biggest lesson in my opinion though, is to not give up temporary satisfaction for your inheritance, no matter what the temporary satisfaction is. Stay true to the Lord and He will stay true to you.

My Best Friend

I don't have anything super on my mind but i like the feeling of typing a lot so i will write about my best friend. So as many of you know, it's Sam Harting. And if you didn't know, it's Sam Harting. I first met him in 7th grade when i switched churches to HHBC. I thought he was cool then, and funny, but very short tempered and cynical. Skipping ahead, we never really were super close until about 8th grade when we became good friends and i tried to help him in life situations, but he wouldn't listen but i stayed persistent and it turned out for the better. The summer between 8th and Freshman year was what really made us best friends. I spent 3 days at his house while my mom was in Florida and that was one of the best summers i've ever had. I've watched as his faith has grown over these past years and it's really been an encouragement to me to see where my faith can go. and last year i wasnt the type of friend that i should have been and ive apologized so much for it. That made me realize though, how important friends are in life. not just best friends but close friends in general really can help you get through tough situations and make life a lot easier. That's not to say that friends won't have their differences but they are truly a blessing from God. I've had so many fun times with sam and i look forward to many more (especially when we can drive!). Thanks for the great memories dude!

Maturity

I don't know if I'm the only one who has seen it, but i feel like i have matured a ton over the past year. I say this because I recently noticed that facebook has a thing that tells you your status' on this day last year. Mine a couple days ago last year was something about bush and obama and all that president stuff. My view this year on that stuff? that my King is in heaven and will return soon so i need not worry about the troubles of this life. I have also matured a ton spiritually through this past year. What makes me say that is at this time last year i was living for myself instead of living for God. Wayumi really made me think about that and what i needed to do to get back on track spiritually, but not just back on track, but exceed my previous closeness to God. And through that ive learned to not be contempt in my relationship with God and to be contempt no matter the situation in life because i realized there is always something good out of bad things and always a lesson to be learned to help me grow in my faith. None of this maturity would have been possible without God because He is the one that gave me opportunities to grow and the ways how. This summer ive been getting into the word more and that has really grown my faith to levels ive never been before because instead of feeling like i should read the bible, i have a want to read the bible and i dont feel the same without reading it. God truly has changed my life in so many ways. Legalistically, i have been saved since 3rd grade or so, but i realize know that me being saved back then was not out of faith but because i felt left out for not doing it. it wasnt a life changing thing then, just something that i thought i should do. but once i started really feeling God and knowing  Him personally, i gave my life to Him again, not out of obligation but out of wanting it. The bible puts in perfectly by saying, For God so loved the world that He sent is one and only son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. Yes, that is John 3:16, and it gets cliche a lot of times, so much that we skip over it. but look that verse, He loved us enough to die for us. What would you die for? last year i  would have said God, but i definitely didn't live my life accordingly and didn't really mean it. but this year, i do mean it. God is my creator and my savior who i owe everything to, even my life. I want to live my life for Christ. The bible also says (and i believe this with all my heart) that, "I have been crucified with Christ and i no longer lives but Christ lives in me. The life i live in the body, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20. and also,  "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead" Philippians 3: 7-12. And finally,  "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:1-10. Because of this i want to live my life for Christ, not out of obligation but out of faith that He has done what He promised and that i want to show others the same power of His love that He has shown me. Christ owes me nothing, I owe Him everything.

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i know i blogged last night, but this really needed to be written down because im in the mood. So ive been thinking a lot recently of what Jesus did on the cross. I think now we dont think of it as a big deal, but it was. we see that when Jesus was in the garden praying the night of his betrayal because he was distraught. you can tell simply by his words. Anyways, i challenge you with this, would you die to save someone? not necessarily spiritually but physically as well? i honestly dont know how i would answer that, i want to say yes i would. but truthfully i really dont know. i sometimes think to myself, it depends on the person, whether i like them or not. but the selfishness in that is incredibly high because look what Jesus did, he died for everyone. even those who tortured him and mocked him and accused him. and i honestly believe that Jesus wasnt certain how things would work out but he had to trust the Father on it. now thats faith. true faith. dying for something that you believe in even though you have no clue how it works. i want to keep this short, so in conclusion i want issue a challenge. would you die to save your worst enemy or the person you dislike the most? thats all, i just felt like i needed to get that off my shoulders today.

Stained Glass Masquerade

Yes, that is the name of a casting crowns song, and yes, that did inspire me to write this. But it did more than that , it gave me a perspective on something that i never really thought of before. I'm beginning to realize first, the importance of the church as Christ body and bride, and second, im finally seeing how divided it is, but how unified it should be. Fact, as Christians, we don't believe in the same things, and we are all different. Different in how we worship God, different in how we serve Him, different in how He made us. For too long i let skin color be the first thing that came to mind when i saw someone, not, hmm, i wonder if theyre are saved or i wonder what theyre like in person. I let the beauty of God's creation be used by satan to blind me. I now see that God made people different because they fit in to His plan like a puzzle. In my opinion, the church has grown apart in recent years. And all of minor reasons like, we dont believe in the same things or other silly things like that. its beginning to frustrate me because we are of the same body and we need to work together to save the world. another thing is that when people are new to a church, they should be welcomed in the church! i know im not always the best at doing that, especially in chi alpha. but thats something that ive been praying about. i just really think that the church body needs to step up as a whole and work together to make the world a place where God is welcome and known. the thing you can do who read this is to pray, and try to step on an individual level. and live your life for God in whatever you do and make sure your testimony is heard among everyone!

Freedom

Last night when i was reading Galatians, i came across verses that i thought i already knew and read, but when i read it again, i realized that i had never really payed attention to them. The verses were Galatians 2:17-21. It read "¹⁷ “But if, in seeking to be justified in Christ, we Jews find ourselves also among the sinners, doesn’t that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! ¹⁸ If I rebuild what I destroyed, then I really would be a lawbreaker.

 ¹⁹ “For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. ²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ²¹ I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”"  First off, My favorite part of that is verse 20. We are not living anymore, we are dead to our old selves. BUT, we have been made alive in Christ. and nothing can compare to the life that he gives. This world tries to tell you that you have to do certain stuff to live, to feel alive. but true life is found only in Christ. Secondly, we can not gain anything through the law. The law was made to guide people to Christ and when the messiah came, they were to follow Him. but they crucified him, and stuck with the law. The jews of that day were trying to gain righteousness through the law. But now righteousness is found through faith in Christ and no where else. the next thing that really caught my eye was galatians 5. The first verse says "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." I don't know about you, but that says to me, WE ARE FREE!!!!!!!!!  We are free of sin, and we are free from the punishment of sin. Later in the passage paul says clearly, "You my brothers were called to free, but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather serve one another in love." We are free, and as a result of that freedom, we should serve the one who gave us that freedom, and like the verse said, serve one another in love. I challenge you to read the rest of Galatians. But those were the main things that the Lord put on my mind. 

P.S. WE ARE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Simplicity

In our common faith, we all know the main facts about Christianity. God loves us, He sent His son to die for us, and He is coming back to receive us to himself, to say the least of course. It's not a very complicated thing to think of, but we as Christians seem to always seem to try to complicate and make it wise by human standards by putting our own spin on the gospel. Yet that's not always the best thing to do, especially when you're trying to show God's love to someone, or even when you're struggling to find love for yourself. Let me put it this way. GOD LOVES YOU! The God who made the universe and everything, even things you can't fathom, loves you, and wants to have a relationship with you. He desires that just as much as we need it. He desires it so much He sent His very own son to die for people who rejected him and spit on him. He died for everyone, for those you put the nails into his hands, for those who tortured him, even for Judas who betrayed the Son of Man to death. So many times as Christians we try to pick and choose who we want to share the gospel with, to decide for myself who i want to see in heaven. He came for the Jews first, but they rejected him, so God has opened the door for gentiles to accept His word. In romans 11 it says that we gentiles are ingrafted branches. Therefore the gospel message is for everyone. For while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Therefore, we can't pick who we want to go to heaven. We can't say, well this guy is normal so i will talk to him, but that murderer, that sinner over there doesnt deserve to go to heaven. WRONG! To God, all sin is bad, therefore we shouldnt be picky on who we talk to about Christ. Also, we shouldnt be afraid of rejection when we speak to non believers. im writing this for you as well for me. The Jesus told his disciples what to do if they were rejected. He told them to shake off the dust of their feet as a testimony against those who rejected you. Also, we have God on our side. If our God is for us, then who shall stand against us? no one. I once was told a story about a Christian man who felt God tugging on his heart to speak with a man he knew, it may have even been his boss, about Christ. One day, he went into the mans office, and shared to gospel to him, but he rejected it. Then about a year later maybe, he was at some sort of party, and a man came up to him and told him, you may not know me, but i was in that mans office working on the floor when you shared the gospel message. That man ended up saving this guy and the guy saved his family. How awesome is that? (and confusing, it was a bad rendition but i think it was clear enough). We always have thoughts of how a plans going to work out, about  how the person were going to talk to will be saved, but when we speak to them, many times they reject us. and we think, oh, everything was for a loss. but you have to remember we serve an all powerful God. and we are called to share the gospel and let the listeners decide for themselves, not force it down them. We sow the seed, and God will determine if it gets watered. I'm not saying we cant be used to disciple people or anything, because that is also important. But in your everyday life, it is so good to share the gospel with people. their reaction doesnt matter, its that you were willing to serve God. and that is what all of us need to do.

Trials

So first semester of my sophomore year i was in speech class, and i was doing an oral interpretive speech on hebrews 11. That means i had to memorize it all. Then last night, i opened up my bible to where chapter 11 was on the left page and chapter 12 was on the right page. So i read chapter 12, and wow. I cant believe after all the times i looked at chapter 11 and just avoided reading chapter 12. In chapter 12 of hebrews, if i had to describe it in one sentence, it would be "Endure hardship as discipline, God is treating you as his children." (Hebrews 12:7) I don't think ive wrote about my dad's death on this blog, so i will now. My fathers passing was difficult at first, but it really made me come to God and rely on Him rather than on my own strength, because i knew i wasn't strong enough to stand on my own strength. Putting this in perspective to the quoted statement above, i dont think God was disciplining me for something i had done or anything like that, but because He knew i could handle it and i would become a better person out of it and that my faith and relationship with Him would grow tremendously in the following years as a result. This verse is also out of hebrews 12, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." This verse is so true, because it wasnt pleasant at the time. But later on it made me come closer to God because i learned from that experience, and that i have become a servant of Christ and i want to live my life for Him. Also, recently, ive been thinking, "what would it be like if my dad was still alive now?" Then i realize the foolishness of that statement because i wouldnt be the same kid now if he was still alive, id be way different and i have no clue what my walk with the Lord would look like. Don't get me wrong, i miss my dad a lot, but i know that i will see him again one day. And i have come closer to my heavenly Father, and that has been amazing! And is still amazing! So, to bring this blog full circle, i realize now why the Lord never revealed chapter 12 until now. Not because my mind wasnt ready, but because i dont think i would have fully realized any of that until now. I hope this is an encouragement to any who reads this to use their hardships as discipline and that they can learn from them and become a better person and become stronger in their walk with God.

Another Blog? Oh Yeah! =)

I'm really starting to like this blogging stuff. Anyways, a little look into my personal faith right now, you would see that my faith is really relying on praying but i havent really been getting into the word as much as i should. Ive been going to bed later and by the time i go to bed, i either feel obliged like i should read or im too tired to read. With that being said, I feel like ive been feeling God more and more through my daily life, and i cant express how much praying has influenced that. I used to only feel God when there was a big event in my life that prompted it, but now it seems like that as my faith has grown, so has the capability to feel God's love and passion in me and all around me. What ive realized through this is that God desires a deep and passionate relationship with us and when we have that, it's the best time of anyones life. Theres a song by tenth ave called let it go, and it says that if you lose your life to God, and give up yourself to gain Him, then you will find your soul and true happiness. I 100% agree! Nothing is better than being completely being in God's hands. I was just texting gavin, and i made up an analogy that i liked, that missions trips, life experiences, and God's word, are like a well, you get as much water as your bucket can hold, and go as deep as you want to go. God has reached His hand out to us, he gives us missions trips and experiences and His word as a way to reach him, and its up to us to accept that. And as a person whos experienced it, its the best thing you can do for you, and your faith.

Men of God

I know it's late, but i have something on my mind that I don't want to lose. I recently heard a song by Casting Crowns called Courageous, it's new and named after a Christian police movie coming out later this year. If you haven't heard it, I advise you do. It really makes me want to be a man of God, not a man with God, but a fearless man who follows the Lord with his whole heart, is not afraid of sacrificing himself to save others. I've always had a dream of living in the middle ages and being a blacksmith and also a warrior type guy that would be epic and manly. However impossible that may be, it'd be awesome. That being said, men have become pansies in our generation. It's true, anyone who denies that is an idiot. Men don't stick up for morals, what's right, and what they believe in. Christian men are no different. Personally, I don't like confrontation, I like avoiding making people angry, and try to please everyone. That's not the type of man I feel God wants me to be, I need to stick up for what's right no matter what it does to my ego, my image or anything. Men are supposed to be courageous, to protect women and children from the evil around them, to be family men who serve the Lord. No matter what you do, you can be a man of God. Whether it's an office job or being blacksmith, you can be a man for God. Man up men! Be strong in the Lord to be able to lead the weak and give young boys good examples and role models! Don't be afraid to fight for God. No matter where it leads. Be men, men. But not just men, be men of God! 

The Way

The Way is the title to the new Jeremy Camp song, and once I heard it, it really drew me back to the simple truth in the Bible. Jesus said " I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me." That statement is so simple, yet so true. I watch as people around me try to find happiness, try to find purpose to their lives, yet none of them do except those who truly know God. They run around working hard to get money and buy happiness. Others go around do good works to help others with charity and good deeds. First of all, you can't buy happiness. I can almost guarantee you that I am happier than the richest men in the world. Secondly, the good deeds and charity are exactly that, good, but they won't get you into heaven. There is only one thing you can do in this life that will give you eternal life, accepting that Jesus died for you to save you, and following his commands. I'll admit, I sometimes think that if I do this, it will help me get into heaven. Later I realize my foolishness in that thought. To whoever reads this, don't fall into that trap, don't go around doing good things to try to get into heaven, but rather do good to spread the good news of Christ. Also, don't fall into a legalistic trap like the pharisees and sadducees did. Jesus warned about that, how they go around to the street corners and in the public places to pray to show the people how "religious" they were. Jesus said that they have received their reward in full. Rather, it is the ones who do things to honor God and who really know Him who get their spiritual reward. That brings me to another point, even when things are going bad in your life even though your devoutly following the Lord, don't stop following Him. And even when you see non-believers living more comfortably and are richer, don't forget that that is all the reward they will get, because those who believe in the Savior will receive their reward in Heaven, and that reward is eternal, while the reward here is so small. Romans 8:35-39 "³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?³⁶ As it is written:

   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]

 ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Foolishness

In chapter 1 of 1 Corinthians, scripture says that God chose the foolish things to shame the wise, and the weak things to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things (dying on a cross would qualify). It makes me want to be foolish for God! I don't really want to live comfortably if it is against God's will. I honestly don't care about money, how much my job pays or living comfortably, whether or not i have modern technology or safety, if i would be killed for living for the Lord there. I really don't care because I know it is in the Lord's hands and wherever He puts me He will do with me as He pleases. The American "Dream" consists of being safe, living comfortably, having an office job, living in the suburbs in a nice house with a family and then retire when you get old. To me that sounds like a nightmare. I feel safe in God's hands, to me that's my dream. Letting myself go to Him, to let God guide my life. The bible says that we have been freed of our sins, of our chains that bind us! I want to use that freedom to live for Christ! In Philippians Paul said that to live is Christ and to die is gain.  I want to live for Christ, and if i die, then i will finally be home. Because we are tourists on this earth, just passing through. And if you have ever watched tourists at amusement parks and stuff, they do some pretty foolish stuff that makes us think they're crazy because they won't be staying their long, they won't be trying to make friends. They are trying to fulfill their purpose of that trip. We should be the same way. We shouldn't care about whether we act foolish or not, even though i do, i shouldn't though. We should use our life as tourists on this earth to fulfill the purpose of us being hear, to spread the news that Christ was resurrected and that he freed of us sin and death! They say when in Rome, do what the Romans do, but the Bible says to not conform to this world. Be set apart. And always be open to God's perfect and amazing will, no matter where it takes you. For me, i don't know if i will get married or not. I don't really care right now, because even though I love most women and they are a beautiful creation of God and they are super awesome,  well most of them, I think that many are better as good friends instead of partners in relationships. I've tried my hand at dating, and it shipwrecked. My navigation system got focused on the wrong things and not on God. I know now that God has reserved me for His purpose, and I know He will guide me to the woman of my dreams and that will be best for me and I for her. And even if I don't get married on this earth I know that i will still be married to Christ because I am apart of the church which is the bride of Christ. I guess what i am trying to say is that, God works for the good of all people, and even if you are in a time of trials or temptations, there is a purpose and that in the end everything will work out, even if you don't see that reward or good until you get to heaven.


(And yes, I know, it is 2 am when I'm publishing this, but hey, it's summer =))

Life of Purpose

God has really been teaching me recently how you have to serve to be a disciple and a leader. The bible says in Galatians that a man reaps what he sows, gives what he puts out. If you serve and give everything good your all, then you will get something good out of it. I am honestly, not a good servant. I'm lazy, procrastinating, and usually complain. I really need to do it more. In my last blog I said that I looked down on people often, but instead of looking down on them, I need to serve them. In Jamaica, my youth pastor was teaching us about discipleship, and one night he made us wash each others feet as Jesus did. Even though it seems so simple, it was so inspiring, not necessarily then, but now. When I was doing it, I was complaining in my mind, I thought myself to be better than the task I was asked to fulfill. Looking back now, I realize that to be great, you must first serve. Look at Jesus, He was the savior sent to save the world, the Son of the Most High God, He was greater than His disciples. Yet He still washed their dirty, filthy feet. I want to serve like that, to step down from my arrogance and pride and be willing to serve people of this earth as an ambassador of the kingdom of God. In the same way Jesus served us when He died to save our sins, He washed our dirty, filthy hearts. I really want to spend my life serving the Lord, I'd rather die for the sake of Christ than to live for the sake of myself. Because in death, I'd find more life than I would living. I really want to live for Christ, wherever He wants me. Honestly my faith hasn't been as strong as I want it to be. I haven't been spending enough time in God's word and in prayer. My life is meant for Christ and Christ alone. I've made mistakes in the past, there's things I regret. I have tried to go my own way, living on my own abilities and desires. Let all who read this know that that road of this world, is nothing compared to the road to the kingdom of heaven. I've tried to satisfy myself with worldly things, things that everyone says makes them happy. And yes, they can make you happy, but only for a short time. You keep having to go back and get more and more to be satisfied. But unless you're with Christ, you will not be satisfied. You may work all the time and get money to support your family, have a nice house, drive a nice car, and not be happy. That is because you are without Christ. He is the one who WILL make you happy! Nothing on this earth compares to the joy that comes from and in Jesus. And He is the one who gives your life purpose. Don't try to find satisfaction in things of this world, because your search will be in vain. If you live for Christ, then your life will be a life of purpose.

Wayumi: A Trip to be Remembered

Throughout my trip to a camp called Wayumi, God has taught me not to be selfish. In thought it seems so simple, so small. Nonetheless, God has shown me that I am selfish in so many ways. There's two specifically though, in mind and in spirit. In mind, my thoughts were selfish. I looked out for only the betterment of me. I never put anyone but myself in first. In spirit, I considered myself greater than those who were smaller in faith and even those who have not heard the good news that Christ died to save them. God showed me, humbled me to the point where I realized, that I am a sinner just as much as the ones who have not heard. I am in the same boat as those who I have been commissioned to save! If it were the Titanic, I thought myself to be first class, top of the line. Even though the ship would be sinking, I wouldn't risk my life to help save those who were stuck in the lower levels of the ship to help them be saved. In the same way, I considered myself higher, greater, than those below me and not as mature in my faith. Even thought the Bible says that we cant do anything to earn my salvation, and even though I knew that, I didn't act like it. God really challenged me on this trip to put myself behind and put Him first. In one of my journals I wrote, "I know I have faith of some sort, faith that God exists and did what His word tells us. But even that is not enough faith. I need to have faith to let God do with me what He wants, and for faith to know that in whatever that may be, everything is under His control and that I will be safe in His arms. I've realized that this life is not about living, but dying. Dying to sin, myself and this world, to be crucified with Christ. And through the death of those earthly things, to find life of the eternal kind in Jesus' blood." This has really been the call of my heart ever since I wrote it. I need to be focused on Christ only, for once you eat of His bread and drink out of His cup, you will never have to eat or drink again because He will satisfy you. That has really come into play this week. I've realized through God that earthly things may satisfy you, for a short time. With sin you keep having to go back and do it more and more to be satisfied while in Christ you only have to go once. There is nothing on this earth that will satisfy you  more than Christ. I hope to spend the rest of my days glorifying Him, whether in speech or actions or both. This life is not yours to live for yourself, but for God. And even when your living for God, you may be called to sacrifice your earthly body because of Him, but it would be so worth it. In all honesty, I would be honored to give my life up for Christ because through that death, life would be gained. This trip has showed me a lot more than that but that's all that's on the top of my head. Don't be like Jonah, and don't waste your life!