The Disciples

I don't really know what sparked this thought inside of me, but I really do wonder what the disciples were thinking after Jesus died. I mean, everything they had devoted their lives to in the past 3 years had just been crucified. They were leaderless, confused and afraid. Especially for Peter. Peter was the most straightforward of them. And Peter had just attacked a guy and cut off his year, denied Christ three times and was probably the most lost of the group at this time. But if you look in Acts, it's amazing to see what change the Holy Spirit had in him! He went from being the most lost to being the most outspoken of the apostles. And also, what joy must they have had in the upper room when Jesus appeared to them? That would have been an amazing sight to behold.
I feel like this has a deep connection inside me though, and it might have been what sparked this. It's been 3 years now since my dad died, and it's been a both long and short 3 years. When my dad died, that morning and throughout the day, I was confused, lost and afraid. Everything I had known and everything I had grown accustomed to had been stripped from me all in a moments time. I couldn't wrap my mind around the bigger picture. I remember sitting in my room in jeans and a sweatshirt, listening to the radio, and trying to get a grip on the whole situation. I was in shock, the gravity of what had happened hadn't hit me. I was so confused, I had no idea why God had let it happen, the only thing I had at that time left was faith, and a hope that God would use it for the better. And He did, more than I ever could have imagined. And the best part hasn't even come to pass yet. The bible says that we will have eternal life, and that we will be in heaven with those who believed and followed God. I will see my dad again someday, and I cannot imagine the joy of that day. All at once I will be with my father, Jesus, and My Father.
I have no doubt that the disciples were feeling similar things that I was. Obviously they had lost Jesus, and I only my dad. But like I said earlier, I have this heart deep connection with the apostles. And I can visualize what they were going through. Because I still have those memories of that day, or at least some. And when I read about Jesus death and the aftermath in the Bible, it stirs up those memories. But I definitely think that each time I think about that day, I get closer to God on a personal level. It's made me rely so much more on God and I know I wouldn't be here without it. And I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way, looking back on it, and I think the disciples would agree as well. God's plans are perfect, always.

Awesomeness

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 NIV)

A Heart Like David's

Now as many of you know, King David wasn't the most righteous person, he sinned constantly and even ordered a man to be killed so David could have the guys wife. Despite this, David had a very repentant heart and sought after the Lord with all of his heart. This is a huge example of what God desires in his children. He doesn't care I'd you do everything wrong, he wants a humble heart that desires him, repents, and turns from it's past ways. To me this is so cool because it shows that I don't have to be perfect, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. There is a song by Chris Tomlin called Your Heart. This song is about King David and it was actually what made me want to write this. Most of the song talks about how David never really wanted any glory for himself, but in not wanting the glory, he got glory, he never wanted riches, but he got them. David was about giving glory to God. I don't know about you but I desire to be like that. I want everything I do, everything I say, and just my presence to impact the people around me. I want to be an encouraging friend and a humble leader. Obviously I want to be more like Christ, but I think that David is a great example, especially for a kid my age. Because around my age now, David was serving Saul and patiently waiting for his time to come. And David was actively serving while waiting. We as Christians should really look at David's life and learn from it in so many ways. But look mostly at his heart.

One Cool Girl

So this year, I met this pretty cool girl named Jordan that was in my chem and algebra class. I never expected her to make an impact on me in all honesty, but once I started getting to know her and talking to her I realized how awesome she truly is. So in all honesty, I started liking her and I was really confused about whether to pursue a relationship that was more than just being friends. This sparked a time where I was really thinking about what the purpose of relationships were, and if it was right for me. After a long time of thinking about it and getting the advice of others, I decided against it. Despite this I still got to know her more and figure out just how awesome she really is. I've also seen a huge growth of Christ in her and that has been super encouraging. Also our fun times in algebra class made it tolerable, and having someone to laugh at all my jokes was a first. I really feel though, that she has impacted my life in more ways than even she knows. And I really hope that I have algebra with her this next semester, that would be awesome. By the way, if you don't know her, I'm sorry, and you should. =)