Change in Me

Alright, so I'm just going to say this straight up, my faith hasn't been where it needs to be within the past week and I really want that to change. Despite that, I feel like God is changing me and the way I live my life and especially my outlook on life. I feel recently that God has taught me how to love people as he loves them, and I'm not saying that I am perfect at doing so, but I do feel like God has challenged me to do this. And I believe loving people is one of our calls as Christians. We are not only to be set apart and different from the world, but to show them love while being set apart. Looking at kids in my classes at school, I not only see the desire for love, but also the lack of love they give out. It's sad for me to see people who treat each other with such disrespect and immaturity because if they had Jesus in their life, it would change them from the inside out. I also feel that God has been breaking my heart these past few weeks. I haven't been trusting God as much as I need to and I have been trying to do things on my own strength. But in me doing this, I have lost the strength to fight, to thrive, and to in all live. Something is missing inside my heart, and I know that thing is God. Through all of my "I can do this myself" mentalities, I have kicked God out of my heart saying, "You've done what needed to be done, now it's time to move on." But why? Why on earth would my selfish, self-centered heart decide to kick the one thing that has helped me through all of my struggles and deserves my praise? Because I want the praise for myself. I, unlike Christ, act like equality with God is something to be grasped. But by trying to achieve this, I have worn myself out because I used all of my strength to try to do things myself. 

But I will not give up, no. Because I know that God is waiting for me to come back to him. And no matter how much I don't deserve it, God will receive me back. God is my strength and my portion. He is all I need and want. When the world is crashing down around me I will not fall because my strength is found in God. I've realize that I have minimal if not any strength to do things on my own, and that all my strength is found in God. 

More poetry written by me

I feel God's love crashing in on me,
as if I were the shore upon a sea.
At times high, at times low,
sometimes falling gently as snow.
Yet always it remains the same,
for His son has bore our pain.
Nothing more, nothing less,
the Son of Man has giv'n us rest.
Forever praise the Song of God,
who has worn our shame, and spared the rod.
His scars remind us of that good day,
when He took all our sins away.
So let's remember today, when we drink our mocha,
that through His son, God sent the quota.
Of the love that our lives should bear,
of the love that we ourselves should share.
For God did not give so that we could hoard,
but for us to share that Christ is Lord.
This is our commission, 'tis our call,
to share to the masses, one and all.
For we are placed, right here, right now,
to advance His kingdom, ev'ry knee will bow.
Let's live for God this very hour,
so that through us He will reveal his power.
In everything, make God the story,
in everything, give God the glory.

What's been happenin

So I have a lot of things to talk about... First off, I feel like I keep desiring love and affection, more so from relationship/girlfriend side. And not to say that's wrong, I can just feel God tugging on my heart saying, "I am your satisfaction, I am sufficient for you and I am all that you need." That's not to say that I won't date ever or not marry, but for now I am going to rely on God for that and grow in that way.

Secondly, I am really proud of my brother. I have seen his faith grow so much in the past few months and seeing from what he's coming from makes it all the more encouraging. I really hope he gets accepted into Cedarville this spring and I think that would be so beneficial to him.

Thirdly and finally, I am so thankful for my friends. I know that sounds so typical and everyone says it a lot, but I truly mean it. I love my group of friends so much and you guys have been such an encouragement to me, especially in my faith but also just having a lot of fun. Plus I am really glad that it consists of boys and girls because it just adds so much more to the table. You guys are awesome.

So I guess I lied about the finally part... One thing I have been doing within probably the past month is I have been writing in a journal different bible verses that I find encouraging and flat out awesome. And it's not just writing their references down, but actually writing the verses. This has been so awesome looking back on it because it really encourages me and just helps me see how awesome God is. A trend I see developing with them is that I always write down the verses where God is saying, I will fight for you, I will be there with you and by your side. And I definitely feel like I love those verses the most because I have gone through situations, especially my dad's death, where I had to rely on God and He did fight for me and did keep my safe. God is so great though. He is so faithful and I really hope you see that in your walk with God because I have and it has been so incredible. In everything give God the glory in your life! Have a great day and may the Lord be with you in all that you do!

Poetry written by Adam

So I was in U.S History and instead of taking notes I wrote some short poems. So I am going to share them because I like them.

Despised and disposed, yet not defeated.
Loved and forgiven, the cycle repeated.
Sinning and hurting, but not condemned.
Replaced and died for, we're on the mend.
Risen and alive, the Son of God has conquered all.
The Sacrificial Lamb has reversed the fall.

Blood flow's down from Calvary's crest
Coming from the wounds engraved in Christ's chest
As pure of blood as there could be
Used to cleanse the sins of you and me

Death was shattered that very day
That Christ was killed, he made the way
He walked this earth and spoke the truth
The scars on his hands are the proof

They said he was led like a sheep going to the slaughter,
but he was far more than just a martyr.
They said he was dead,
if only they could understand he was the bread.
They said his body was taken,
then how did the guards leaved their posts shaken?
They say he was a good man,
but they don't even follow His plan.
They will say He is Lord.
They will say He is Lord.