Thoughts from the back of a Antique Shop

I lived my life like I sifted through a store of antiques.  As I would enter the shop, with the door bell still jingling, I would inhale the aroma of mold and of mildew and of times gone by, and I would allow them to dance in my nose for a time. I carefully passed by all of the things that I never cared about on my way to what I wanted the most, interests of others never swaying me to pursue anything other than my own desires. With youthful exuberance, I would dash for the old records, and the old military leftovers, as if war and music were all I cared to know about from the generations before. I passed the books with all their torn and worn pages that were once a young boy's favorite book, or a young girls favorite bedtime story. I passed them as they rotted on those old wooden bookshelves that leaned ever so slightly, and those shelves that one breeze through the store would certainly knock over. I went past the furniture that once made one's house a home. Furniture that kids would not see as a couch, or a chair, but a cockpit of a plane, or a horse from the wild west; dressers where the owner's favorite shirt used to be. I went by the trinkets that a child's mom would often have placed on the wrong shelf. As her two boys wrestled on the floor, a soft thud would resound on the carpet, and despite their best efforts to hide it, mother would always find out what happened. The lamps that lit the rooms, the pictures that adorned the walls, and the fans that made the summer days a bit more tolerable. This is what I walked past, this is what my youth ignored. As I age, I see all the things I, and my generation, have neglected. All the small things I passed in my life because I thought life had more to offer. Some new and better thing which would complete my existence. The truth is there is no one life changing thing. It is the small things in life that will change who you are, the small things that will make you better. It is that small piece of junk in the back corner of a musty old antique shop that will open your heart to see the beauty of life. Not because that little piece of junk is beautiful, or because it will provide you some service that will make your life easier. It is beautiful only because some human creature was odd enough to make such a thing. Only after you chuckle and set the item down, do you see. It is not the large, or the strong, or the proud, or the bold. No, it is not them. It is the small, the weak, the humble and the meek; they will offer you life, they will let you see.

Pens

I used to think that people can be compared to a pencil, but a pen makes much more sense now. I say that because pens can be used to create things, and what they do is permanent, it can't be undone. They can be used to make something beautiful of their own, they can combine with other pens to make something even more stellar, or they can cross out others people's work. What they do cannot be undone. They can't erase, but they can make another pen not want to write, or draw. There can even be different colors of ink in the pen, but they're all pens. They all can be used to make something beautiful. And what they do can't be undone. 

Fearing Change

Disclaimer: My example may seem kinda lame but I think it portrays a bigger picture, on that everyone struggles with at some point in their life.

Tonight I shut off my Xbox for the last time, deleted everything from it and unhooked all the cords. The reason for this is because I'm selling it tomorrow to get some money to save up for the new Xbox coming out this November. But for some reason I got really depressed while thinking about it because its a mirror of what is happening in my life right now. It's not that I really care that I won't get to play Xbox for awhile, because I frankly don't care anymore. Despite me not caring all that much, it's hard not to remember all the good times I had on my old Xbox and I see this as the end of an era.

The reason I say that this mirrors my life, is because I'll be moving in to college in a few weeks and my whole life will be flipped upside down in the matter of days. It's change. It's a trade-in. But more than that, it's an upgrade... hopefully. I couldn't care less about leaving high school, but it's hard not to remember all the good times I had during high school, and I see this as the end of an era.

With this new Xbox coming out, I've seen previews of it and it looks really awesome, but for all I know it could be a complete flop. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to get it and play it and more than likely enjoy it.

With college coming up, I've heard stories about it and it looks really awesome, but for all I know it could be a complete flop. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to go and participate and more than likely enjoy it.

I'm done with repeating myself now, but that's the point I'm trying to make. I'm trying to prove this more to myself than anybody else, but I figure some of you are also going through times of change. Wait, let me restate that, I know all of you reading this are going through some sort of change in your life. No matter how many times things change though, I know that I am still afraid of it. It's something I will probably never fully get used to, because by the time I find myself getting comfortable I'm getting swept away somewhere else. The change that's on my mind right now is obviously college, but there's been so much change in my life with family members dying, people coming in and out of my life, changing churches, and other smaller things. But I still hate change at first, even if it is for the better.

Story Time! Have you ever read the beginning of Joshua in the bible and see that God tells Joshua and the Israelites to "Be strong and courageous" multiple times? I think that God is telling us to "Be strong and courageous" during these times of change in our lives. The Israelites had been roaming aimlessly in the desert for 40 years waiting for all the old farts to die off so they could get into the promised land. And when they all finally died and they went in the land God had said he'd given them, they didn't find the land unoccupied with palaces for everyone. They found other people, with strong armies, living in the place God told them was theirs.
When you look at this in regards to life now, I say this from experience that I feel like so many people act like when God tells them to do something, or has "promised" them something, it won't get them out of their comfort zone or require them to do anything. That's far from true though, when God has promised us something, he doesn't hand us it, he wants us to fight for it so we can appreciate it more (which we still don't always do).
What ends up happening in Joshua? Well, they do what the Lord says and they drive the Canaanites out of the promised land and the Israelites take possession.
So what ends up happening in your life?

I know that despite all of this I will still hate and fear change, maybe not as much as I used to, but I actually want to fight for what God's promised me now instead of just being spoon fed.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

World Lenses

I've often wondered about how unsaved people view the world. And by that I mean what sort of lens do they see? A moral one? A "Do what you want" type of lens? I'm beginning to realize there are only two ways to view the world: Christian, or non-Christian.
I know that seems really simple, so let me put it this way.
When it is completely dark around you, you don't know what sort of dangers are near you, or what your surroundings are. You have the basic knowledge of what is up, down, left or right, but you have no clue what direction is north, south, east or west. You can have all of your opinions about which way is north, but there is no certainty, or any way you can prove that the way you are looking is in fact north. To me, this is why the world believes in relative truth. In the mind of the world, if we are all in the dark, truth (Or to continue the example, direction) can be anything you want. Eventually some of the those relative truths will get close, but it will never be the absolute truth.
When you accept Jesus into your life, the bible tells us we are then filled with the Holy Spirit. And our mind becomes free and we began to see the world in the light rather than in the darkness. Now that we can see everything in the light, we begin to see all of the dangers, traps, cliffs and other things harmful to us. Because we see, we avoid these things, but those in the dark blindly stumble into those traps because they don't know any better.
Now, to continue the use of directions as an example. Since we as Christians are in the light, we can see our compass clearly and thus we understand north is north because our compass says so and not just because we feel a certain way or we say so. In a Christian's life, their compass should be the bible, has to be the bible. Now that we can see that murder is a sin and bad, not just because we feel that way and think it's bad, but because the Bible says so.
As a Christian myself, I have noticed when someone is going to attack Christianity or a certain thing Christians believe, they most often go after the Bible first. This is because if a man in the dark, and a man in the light are debating about which way is north, the man in the dark will obviously try to say that the man's compass is off kilter, that it is pointing in the wrong direction. Once the man in the light is without his compass, he loses any sort of advantage he has and is then trying to use logic and reasoning to find out which way is north, which is infinitely harder than using a compass.
There are those as well, who try to pick and choose from the Bible. To them I say, do you pick and choose from a compass? If you agree north is north, and south south, all is fine and well, but if you think that east is west and west east, you will be all twisted up and not able to go the direction you intend and you will end up lost.
It is either all of the Bible, or none of it. There is no in between. And hopefully now you see it is good to study the Bible, because a Christian without their Bible is like a hiker without a compass. You can stay on the path for so long, but when a fork in the road comes, how will you know which way to choose?

A Poem. Although I Couldn't Think of a Title.

You wear your scars on your wrist.
I hide mine in my heart.
You've embraced your mistakes,
While I only deny, deny, deny...
I've been told the scars which show,
Are worse than those that don't.
But at the end of the day,
Scars are still scars,
No matter where they are.
And people are still people,
no matter what they've done.
So don your scars,
Wear them with pride.
They're apart of you now,
And they will be til you die.

Do we need a preview?

Often times when there is a movie coming out in your favorite series, or an album from your favorite band, you don't need a preview of it to go see it, or buy it. For example, if they came out with another set of movies based in Middle Earth, but apart from the Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit, I would go see it. I'd probably try to even make the midnight premier. If you have seen similar things before, more often than not you trust the new one will be good, or at least worthy of your time and money. So then if we trust God enough to follow him, why do we ask God for a preview when He asks us to go someplace, or to do something?

To be honest this is something I have struggled with before and still do. I want to do things beneficial to me, from my standpoint, and when God comes to me and tells me to do something. I tend to ask for a preview of it, for a trailer so I can see what is going to happen, if it's going to look worthy for my time. In a way, we already have a preview of what God will do because he has most likely worked in your life before and it most likely turned out to be what was best for you. I find this all ironic in a way because my favorite chapter in the Bible is Hebrews 11, which is the hall of faith. It's message is faith, and how those who are written about walked by faith, and didn't ask God for a preview, but rather did before they what they were actually doing.

The one example I immediately thought about was Abraham. He was living in a completely different country, in a far away land, and he didn't ask question, he just got up and left. I wish I could do that. I feel like instead of following faithfully, I would make excuses like the man who wanted to go bury his father first. Jesus saw right through his excuse and called him out on how he was trying to delay his following of Christ until it better suited him. But as I'm starting to realize, the time is now to start following God. Not after college, not when you're "better prepared", but now. God will use your weaknesses for his glory. And in that thought I find comfort. 

A Role Model

Recently I started reading a book called "7 Men" by Eric Metaxas and by recently I mean like 10 minutes ago. I haven't even read past the introduction when he wrote a few paragraphs that really made me think. 

This book is about 7 men throughout history who are good role models and heroes and what made them such. In the introduction he talks about why he wrote this book and he offers up the idea that the American culture fears strength, and in order to protect the weak, they must make the strong weak. But in doing so they have stripped men of the thing God gave them in order to protect the weak. God made men stronger than women so that men can protect women. And women in a way expect that because you notice that on the hearts of most young girls is the thought of a knight in shining armor coming to save them. So now our society is stuck in a place where everyone is weak and no one is there to stand up and be the good guy. 

Enter Jesus. He comes and shows that the way to be strong is to be a servant. That's why he washed his disciples feet, that's why he died for us. Jesus shows how men should use their strength, for the service of others.

This is where it really started to sink in for me. And in a way this may make for a late father's day post. 

As I was growing up I was blessed to have a dad who I thought to be super strong and super manly. But in that masculinity he never came off as overbearing or abusive. Sure, he had his moments where his temper would get the best of him, but he was a loving, caring father as well as a strong man. He wasn't afraid to help those in need, almost to a fault at times. I remember when we were on vacation in Pennsylvania and we were driving on the interstate when my dad sees this lady on the other side of the highway with a blown tire. He proceeded to get off at the next exit and go back to where the lady was. It turns out someone had stopped to help her in the time it took us to get back. But that is the type of role model I had, and I hope that I can be even just half the man my father was. 

He taught my brother and I to hold the door open for people, to help those in need, to give even when it hurts, to pick up heavy things for people that aren't as strong, and this never happened to me but help an old lady cross the road. Why? Because it's the nice thing to do, the right thing to do. He didn't just tell my brother and I, he more importantly showed it to us. And when you have a good fatherly role model show his sons how to do something, they will listen because they want to grow up to be like their dad. 

I wish he was still here. So often I try to be strong and have faith and I know that this was God's will and He has a plan. But I still miss him. Even time will never fully heal that wound, for it runs deep. I'm a man now, I'm 18 and my father never got to see me become who I am today. Oh how I wish I could ask him if he's proud of me, and so I could say to him, "Look dad, look at the man I've become." But I can't. I'm not bitter at God by any means, in some ways this has been good because it matured me and help me become who I am today, but that being said, I miss him and I will always miss him and I can't wait to get to heaven to embrace him again and tell him I missed him and that I love him. 

Over time the memories become less vivid, and become more of "This one time" than a history, my history. But through that I've tried in a way to become like my dad was. Obviously I'm different and also he wasn't perfect so I am becoming my own man rather than a copy of someone else. That being said, I still try to take the things I remember he told me, or the things I saw him doing, and put them into practice. Sometimes my mom will tell me say to me, "The way you were standing out there reminded me of your dad" or, "That's something your dad would have said." And I may not really respond outwardly, but inside, the kid me has the biggest grin on his face because I still want to be like my dad. And I can think of no greater challenge for me than to become a father one day and be such a good role model that when their 18, or in the middle of their rebellious teenage years, that inside themselves they will say "I want to be like dad when I'm older." 

Bare Feet and Walled Up Hearts

I don't know how many people have made this comparison before, but walking bare footed and living a life of love are very similar. I say this because as I was walking barefoot outside today, I remembered how good it feels to walk without shoes on. Sometimes, the ground feels soft and nice, and other times its hard and rocky. You will step on sticks, you might bleed, your feet will get dirty, but you will feel. You feel the ground as your foot slowly lands on it, and you notice that every footstep. You don't notice that when you are wearing shoes, you take it for granted and you go on without noticing the intricate parts of life, like why we were given feeling at the bottom of our feet to begin with.
The reason I compare this with a heart and love is because we do the same thing to our heart as we do to our feet. We put shoes on it, we cover it up. Deep down we know that we enjoy that feeling of love and of loving. But too often do we feel pain, rejection, cuts, and heartache, so we decide to not feel anymore. The reason I'm saying this is that I want us, particularly as Christians, but everyone in general, to love without the fear of pain lurking in the back of our minds. I understand that it will hurt, bad at times, but when the time comes when your loving and the ground is soft beneath your feet, it will be a brilliant type of love, and it will bring freedom to your soul.

Complacency Killed the Cat

Complacency is something that all people fall into at one point or another, and too often do people realize it, or do anything about it. Have you ever heard that if you put a frog into a pan of cold water, and heat it on an oven slowly the frog will eventually burn to death because it is cold blooded and doesn't notice how hot it gets. That is us as humans. Precisely us. As Casting Crowns once put it, "It's a slow fade." We keep falling and falling down into all this crap, but it happens slowly so we don't notice it. Then one day, you'll look up and finally realize that your at the bottom of a pit and you don't know how to get out. It happens with a lot of things. But recently to me its been complacency. I will go on with my not super exciting life and just go with the flow. Never really challenging myself, not getting out of my bubble of comfort. And I'll slowly lose my grip on my faith, and other things around me. It will start with staying up late and not getting enough sleep. Then I'll be tired the next night so I will say that I don't have time to get into God's word because I need sleep. Then I will stop encouraging, and witnessing, and letting God's light shine to the world through me. All the while I am just going through life because I don't notice that the water is getting hot around me. It's a slippery slope. One other thing is that it's hard to notice that your life is full of complacency until you hit rock bottom.
That's what has been happening to me in these last few months. And I didn't notice it. Then today someone keyed my car in the school parking lot and I became really frustrated and upset. I was trying not to show it on the outside but it was there in the back of my mind. Then when I got home a song came on and I just started singing out at the top of my lungs, and paying attention to the words. I don't remember the exact words but for some reason they were able to sneak through the defenses around my heart and whisper in, "Everything is not well, open your eyes." And I broke down and started praying. I realized that I was caring too much about my image, and my car and just other unimportant things more than I was caring about God.
I had also become complacent because I was just fine where I was at and I wasn't willing to challenge myself anymore than I had too. I was just scraping by.
I don't know where that is going to go from here though. I just want to give my heart over to God again because I know that I don't have the strength to do anything on my own, I had just tried that and it led me into a dungeon. What I do know, is that I need to stay into my bible, and be constantly in prayer and making use of fellowship. And pray that I don't become complacent. Because as the say, complacency killed the cat.

Broken Love

Two months ago, I drove to Steak 'n Shake and sat at a table by myself. The waiter seated me where I was facing an empty seat and a wall. I pictured someone sitting across from me and that all was well. But in truth it was not and I had went out to eat to get some solace and some time to think. So as I was thinking through my own issues, I looked at the window and saw something that changed my perspective on life a little bit. I saw a mother dropping off her son so that he could spend the weekend with his father. Through the glass window I could not hear their words, but their expressions on their faces showed it all. The mother embracing her son and not letting him go, not wanting to lose him even for a few days. On her face showed the pain that she had faced so many times with this man she was letting her son go with and those cracks were showing through. I saw the father's attempt to show his son that he cares through a gentle pat on the shoulder. He loves his son but he doesn't know how to get through to him because all the while the 10 year old boy was going through the motions. His expressionless face showed that he had done this many times before, and that there was anger and bitterness walled up inside his heart that would not be easily cured. He's been through this before, so he puts on the show that he knows his parents want. But he's tainted, to him love was never shown. He is another casualty of selfishness, and of sin. How much of this could have been avoided if the parents had just tried a little harder? 

To tell you the truth, I don't know how much of that is true only because I was only watching through the window, and I don't know their stories. But in this culture divorce is so commonplace that men and women struggling in marriages view it as an easy way out. Because in truth, divorce seems so much easier on the surface than healing a broken marriage. Struggling couples should try to mend that break, and those cracks though, because if they have children, it is not themselves they are hurting the most, but their kids. And what more does Satan want than to deny children a good example of a father, so that when Jesus comes in and says that God is his father and we who believe that Jesus is the only way are his children, those kids will turn away. Because the only thing they've seen of a father, is that man who left that family for his selfish desires, and left a young woman to run a household by herself. What's left is only broken relationships, broken hearts and a broken women crying in her room alone because there is no one there to help her. Think before you act rashly, because your actions will affect not just you, but those around you. Don't create another 10 year old boy who is lost in this world because his parents were never there to show him what love truly was. 

Palm Sunday

^"8 A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. ⁹ The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna^[b] to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”^[c]

“Hosanna^[d] in the highest heaven!”

¹⁰ When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

¹¹ The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”" - Matthew 21:8-11 

Today is Palm Sunday, and as much of a celebration it is of Jesus and the praise he ordained, it is a warning and an example of the hypocrisy and fair weathered-ness that us humans are capable of. The reason I say this, is because less than one week from this day, the people, the same people who praised his entry into the city, were crying out "Crucify him." How often do we as modern day Christians go from worshiping God on Sundays at church, to saying "crucify him" by the way we live our lives? To me, Palm Sunday this year should be a time of reflection of the way we our living our lives and how we could change that to reflect praise for Christ. 

Also, the section immediately after Jesus enters the city, says that he went to the temple. Jesus, for the second or third time, ran out all those who were selling doves and changing money. He then quoted both Isaiah 56:7 and Jeremiah 7:11. "¹³ “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’^[e] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers."" When I saw this I immediately thought of the Church. Too often do Christians try to make really expensive churches with neat stuff and cool looking designs to draw in non-believers. They see it as "outreach." But shouldn't our outreach be concerned with prayer like Jesus says here? I mean, its cool to try to reach out to non-believers but the way we do it should not be bought with money, but done by the people living lives reflecting Christ. I am trying not to be confusing because it's late and I may not be writing as clearly as it is in my head. 

What I am just trying to say out of this, is that I do not want our worship to be done one day out of the week, or even just two. It should be done the entire week. I'll leave you with this, if Jesus walked into your church, would he call it a den of robbers or a house of prayer? 

Ministry and Spiritual Warfare

This morning at church my pastor announced that he will be stepping down as senior pastor to take on a missionary position in the SE Asia. God has put a burden on his heart for Japan specifically and with this position he will be able to impact missions in Japan. When I first heard about this I was so happy for him and the ministry because I could see it coming and he is setting a great example for our church body. I feel as if my church has needed a revival of some sorts and I believe that this could be it.

Another thing that makes this even more interesting to me was the spiritual presence I felt during the service. A couple of years ago I would have made excuses for weird things happening but there came to a point where I began to see that there are powers at work beyond what we as humans can see. That angels and demons are battling on earth for something greater than anyone can comprehend. Before I go on I must say that Satan does not want us as Christian to go into the ministry, to follow God's will for us. He will try to do whatever he can to disrupt, distract and dismantle the lives of anyone going into ministry for God. Anyway, when my pastor was speaking and pouring his heart out to us, the church started creaking loudly and it was somewhat distracting. This is normal on windy days because the church was constructed in a way that makes it prone to creaking. But today was not a windy day, at all. I could feel a burden on my heart to pray at that time and I prayed for protection and for God to work through my pastors wonderful opportunity as well. Did I say that Satan will go to any lengths? Well later in the service after the creaking, out of the blue a kid just threw up, so loud that it made my pastor stop talking. And he paused so they could deal with it and get it all cleaned up. I'm not saying that this kid had a demon or anything like that, but there was something at work in that room this morning that I still can't explain. As if I could feel the good and evil battling. I could imagine that Satan was trying hard to embitter the church body toward the pastor to make this transition go badly. Especially considering that my pastor is an extremely Godly man of whom I have utmost respect and praise for. Satan doesn't want him going to Japan and having an impact there because Japan is one of the most spiritually lost nations in the world. But I have faith that God will protect him and prayer is the best way I can help.

This was really eye opening for me too, because I have been noticing more spiritual warfare than I ever and even though I couldn't see it, I could feel it. My mom and I have also been talking more about it and it's been really cool to see how God is at work in both of our hearts. And I think this is God's way of preparing me for the ministry in some way. Some of you may know that I want to go to college to study to be a pastor. What happened today made me even more ready for that day to come. I know that Satan will come at me and attack me because he wants to repel anyone who wants to go into God's work. But God has opened maybe not my eyes, but my heart to this. It is not a war over flesh and blood, but over the spirit and the soul.

There are powers at work in our lives that we cannot see, but they are there. And there is a battle over your soul. Satan wants to rattle you, to discourage you. But...

"This is what the Lord says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.'" - 2 Chronicles 20:15

"When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city, 'Oh, my lord, what shall we do?' the servant asked. 'Don't be afraid,' the prophet answered. 'Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.' And Elisha prayed, 'Oh Lord, open his eyes so he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." - 2 Kings 6:15-17

Stand strong in the faith, and do not lose heart.

The Christian Cliche

So often I find myself getting frustrated with Christians becoming complacent, and being ungrateful. If we serve a perfect and fulfilling God, why are we settling for something less? Why are we as Christians not letting God work in our lives? If we truly believe He is good, then why do we not let Him rule our lives? I want to see others serve Christ be just as passionate about God as I am. 

The reason for the title is because in our world today, Christians are often looked down upon because we are seen as fanatics and old fashioned. I don't blame people for thinking this because the face of Christianity is now Westboro Baptist Church and that pastor who keeps trying to predict when the world will end. Then the typical Christian is seen as one who goes to church on Sundays and maybe midweek, and lives their life contrary to what they say they should do. But as the song "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns says, "why don't we put down our signs cross over the lines and love like you did?" That hit me hard because I too often will find myself not loving, not living like Christ. I also see in America the decline of acceptance of Christianity. Some may find that disheartening, and at first I did. But after thinking and praying about it, I realized that this may be something that can spark Christians into living it out. David Platt said that Satan will use suffering to discourage us but God will use suffering for our sanctification. It will make people become unashamed of the gospel. It will make you buy in to the gospel, or sell out. It will force us Christians to break these cliches. I have so much on my mind, part of it is frustration with what Christianity has become to so many people, but another part of it is I want this passion inside me to spread to those around me. I am tired of seeing those around me not worshiping God and I want that to change. And I want those around me to see that God is the most important thing in everything, whether it be relationships, school, work, or anything else. God comes first and everything else is less. Maybe if we started acting like Christ commanded us to in the Bible, and put God first, maybe those Christian cliches wouldn't become so cliche, but rather real life living. 

Poetry

This is some stuff I wrote over the past year or so.

The American Dream
Climb higher, climb higher, climb ever so higher,
Until you reside at the top of the spire.
Get a wife, kids, house and a dog,
Live away from the city, it's pollution and smog.
Awake you dreamer, arise from your sleep,
The beggars are here at your door to weep.
Money cannot buy what the soul has lost,
Except in America where air has a cost.
Idols are crafted not of silver and gold,
But by the images and ideas that Hollywood's sold.
Wake up America, see what you have become,
A vast land of riches now covered in slums.
You work hard toward your goals but forget what you own,
Your future now lies in a valley of bones.
Animals and trees are more valuable than lives,
While babies are born to girls not wives.
O America, what have you done?
Your children will never see the light of the sun.

Untitled 1
When darkness closes in,
When you feel there is no way out.
When you cannot be from sin.
It is those times when you doubt.
But in those days He will set you free,
Breaking the chains on hand and feet.
Through his death he gained the key,
And through his death he took his seat.
So do not fear, do not despair,
When the world comes crashing down.
For our hopes lies in the heir,
Because he conquered death and received His crown.

Undeserving
How undeserving am I, oh my God?
To have my feet washed by my Savior.
To have my wounds healed by my Maker.
How undeserving am I, oh my Rock?
To be protected from my foes.
To be set aside for my creator.
How undeserving am I, oh my Sustainer?
That my needs are taken care of.
That when my life falls apart, you are there.
How undeserving am I, oh my Redeemer?
That your son should pay the price for my sins.
That my transgressions are washed as white as snow.
Oh my God, how undeserving am I?
To have my feet washed by my Savior.
To have my wounds healed by my Maker.

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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil because I feel your breath.
Even though I'm lost in the wilderness with nights so cold,
Stories of you will be the only things told.
Stories of your salvation and grace,
Some of old where you showed your face.
But your face shows now, it's painted in the clouds.
It's shown in the storms that thunder so loud.
It's written in the stars, on the darkest night.
Your face is on the sun, which shines so bright.
Your face is on the Lamb, who once was slain.
And in the presence of your face the Lamb shall reign.

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Let the rain keep pouring it's sorrowful beat,
And the thunder roll its antagonizing drone.
So the Son can take His seat,
high upon that beautiful throne.
For the rain will turn the ground to mud.
and the thunder's clap will flee away.
Forgiveness will then be sealed by blood,
and soon will come that glorious day.
As for today when the rain falls in dreadful song,
we await for that day, but oh not for long.

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I wonder if you remember, the days long ago.
When love first whispered like a gentle snow.
I proceeded with caution, for far too long.
By the time I was ready you were far too gone.
I think about it, now and again.
Those memories are still strong from way back then.
I wish there were some way that it would work out.
But everyday I continue to doubt.
I would take you in, with arms open wide.
Your past, your present, your mistakes and pride.
But I'm afraid it will not come to pass,
My hopes turned wishes now shattered like glass.
Will I see you again? Only the Lord knows.
But I will wait here still, waiting again for that snow.

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Living in a world not my home,
Forever standing in a crowd but feeling alone.
They will tell you to follow those in front,
But were it not them that set the trend?
The world, oh how full of hypocrites, tells you what you want.
They tell you who to be or you won't be loved.
The world will say they're right, without giving ear to the other side.
And they will not let you fit in, no matter how hard you try.
They made you believe them, but oh what a lie.
They led you into a trap, and now, now you're left to die.