Gettysburg: A Poem

Their cries still linger here, that once were made out of their fear.
The bullets were flying all around, the bodies were strewn across the ground.
The blood flowing out freely from the wounds, this field of grass their dying tomb.
The glimmer of steel and the smell of death, the sound of men heaving their final breath.
Their screams and shouts are but whispers now, barely heard above the crowds.
Their deeds still echo through all the years, through all the families long shed tears.
Now here they lay, naught but bone,
Their immortal deeds etched in stone.

Love and Pain

"I need your hurt, I need your pain, it's not love any other way"- Any Other Way by Tenth Avenue North

Think about it. The only way that we are loved, is if our hurts and our pains go along with it. Now think about this, Jesus loves us. I know that I hear that and think "Oh, that's nice. I'm glad he does." But I really don't think about what he is really doing for us. He is taking all of our hurts, our pain that we have felt from so many life experiences, and all of our crap. That's true love. That's the way he loves His bride, and it's the way all of us as humans want to be loved.

As I've blogged about before, God has really changed my perspective on dating and love. I mentioned in that blog, that God had been teaching me to not think logically about love, but rather with my heart and feelings. Because if I had kept thinking logically about love, I would have seen all of the pain and hurt that goes with the happiness and joy, then I would have turned away from love. But God got a hold of my heart and changed my perspective.

So I normally like to end my blogs with a challenge. For this post, I really want to encourage you all to go out and find out Christ's love for yourself. Dig into the word, all of it, and really look for Jesus' and God's love for us. It's pretty amazing where you find it because it is all throughout the bible. I'll leave you with this awesome video journal from Tenth Avenue North's lead singer from the song Beloved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOaWb7AIVVc

And also a video journal to the song Any Other Way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v99khOnLeQ

Jesus

I'm really tired of people thinking of Jesus as a chill, relaxed dude. In America, Jesus has become "our homie" or a person that only loves and who works for us. Unfortunately many churches would like to think, and do think, that Jesus is a calm, reserved man who lived in suburbia and lived a comfortable life who was involved in church, but not willing to risk too much. Since when did THIS become ok and admirable? We serve THE Christ, our Sovereign LORD. The conservative, religious leaders of the day thought that this man was crazed, a drunkard and had a demon. We serve the man who drove out the shopkeepers in the temple with a whip, the man who hung with the IRS agents of the day, and the druggies. In many and most cases, he condemned those who were most like the modern American Christians. I may be completely wrong about this, but we all have to agree that there is something significantly wrong about America's view of the Savior of the world. I challenge you all to read the gospels and really look at who Jesus was, and go and try to live a life worthy of his calling.

Nostalgia: What Was and What Lies Ahead

"There is no real going back. Though I may come back to the Shire, it will not be seen the same; for I shall not be the same." - Frodo Baggins

I just saw this  quote today, and describes well what I am feeling and thinking right now. I am a very nostalgic person. I love to think back to the days gone by and I remember well what befell in those times, borderline regret on some things. But as Frodo so eloquently states, there is no real going back. The reason why, as he explains, is that we will not be the same. What we have done, what we remember, what we regret, has influenced us and changed us so that we will not make that mistake again. As much as we'd like to be able to hear and listen to advice, we normally don't, well, I normally don't because I am stubborn and need to learn things the hard way. Whether it be using all your time with a person, because you truly never know when it will be your last with them, or wishing you hadn't told a person you had feelings for them because it somewhat altered the friendship, we will always wish we had done something differently. But dwelling on that is like throwing a lit match into an already burning fire. It's pointless, because we cannot change what we did.

So often I imagine what things would be like if my dad were still living. But as I begin to think, I realize that his death is a lot of the reason for me being who I am today. God has really used it for good, and as much as I miss my dad, I wouldn't change a thing. We cannot, as humans and especially as Christians, try to live our lives as if our past could be changed. Because if we do, we will miss the beauty of the current situations by focusing on the masterpiece of the last one. If you look at it that way then you will only have one beautiful portrait of your life rather than hundreds. I really hope that makes sense.

I'm tired so this is going to be a short application. I really want all of you who read this to really think through the decisions you are making and in your head think "will this be something I regret later?" One last thing, try to make decisions that will not make you lose friends or make the relationship different. Friends are some of the most important people in your life and you should think of them when making decisions.

 

 

The Last Moment

This is one is kind of morbid and depressing, so just a fair warning.

As my head is down on the block,
my mind is slowly rewinding the clock.
Like when I let you go,
when my heart became as cold as snow.
Regret clouded my choices,
regret created so many voices.
I have much more to say,
what I should have said when we split ways.
Now it's too late,
and the clock has returned back to my fate.
How did my life become this wreck?
I feel the cold steel on my neck.

A Poem

I see you there up in that tower,
Where your beauty calls to me like a lonely flower.
I will fight for you, if only you'd ask.
if only for you to take off your mask.
For you I would slay a thousand men,
for you I would assault the lions den.
All for just a single chance,
all for a single glance.
I would charge into the enemies shields,
for your love I would not yield.
I would scour the land for a single dove,
if I thought it would help you my love.
But you want no part of me,
and so I rot here in my misery.

It's a Love Story

"The hijacking of the concept of morality began, of course, when we reduced scripture to formula and a love story to theology, and finally morality to rules. It is a very different thing to break a rule than it is to cheat on a lover." -Donald Miller

Once again I'm back on here talking about love, but my opinions have drastically changed on it within the past few weeks. As I've mentioned in some previous post, I recently read the book Wild at Heart. I thought I had seen all the impact it had on me, but apparently I was wrong. What I'm talking about, is that it made me view Christianity and following Christ much more differently than I had before. I have begun to view it more as a love story than theology now. This has tremendously broadened the scope I look at the world through. Before, I had viewed much of the world through a logical lens, as a result, my heart was against any form of love. What I have been realizing, is that God doesn't want us to view the world as logically as many would like to think.

When we look at the world logically, we slowly starve ourselves of our ability to love. And when we look at the world logically, we become complacent in our faiths and lose our ability to see God clearly. I could name off hundreds of stories in the Bible where many paths taken do not make any sense.
Although I am baptist, I have begun to see many ways conservative Christianity, and American Christianity has it's flaws. Those men in the Bible were in contact with God on a personal level, and talked with Him, and he talked back. Why is it now then, that we are complaining that God does not speak to us? He clearly is, we are just looking at it through ways that He has done it in the past, and we are afraid of venturing into the unknown, and also, that we are close minded about the way God works. The beauty of Christianity, the Bible, and our lives, is that we have no clue how God will work. We need to expand our thinking, as the quote above says, "when we reduced scripture to formula." It is abundantly clear to me that the American church has become so focused on figuring out God, that we believe that some formula will be able to master Him.

Instead of figuring out God, we should be constantly looking for new ways God will work and is working. We are becoming like the Jews when Jesus came to die for our sins. They did not think for one second, that God would become man, that this child would be born a baby in Bethlehem, that this man would eat with sinners, and that the Son of God would die and rise again. They became fixated on the idea, that Jesus would come down out of the sky, kick out the Roman empire, and establish an earthly kingdom. Obviously that didn't happen, and since that was in the past, many Christians have no problem believing that. But when God tries to speak to us in new ways, we don't listen, we don't even hear. It is as if we are waiting for Jesus to come into Jerusalem on a different road than the one he actually took when he rode the donkey triumphantly in.

We are desiring God, but we are so hardheaded about it that we miss the most important parts. We cannot seem to grasp though, that God cannot be grasped. One of the reasons I started listening to Christian music so much, is that I thought I would get closer to God through it, as if God was only going to speak through Christian music. I've heard many secular songs recently that have revealed different things to me, and I truly believe God is speaking to me in those moments as well. Before any of you start getting the notion that I am crazy, look at the end of Isaiah 44 and most of 45. God calls out Cyrus almost 150 years before he was to reign in the Persian empire. He ended up becoming the most successful Persian king, because God had anointed him. That's right, in the Old testament God anointed a Gentile king. To the Jews, that's crazy. That's blasphemy. Or is it?  You see, in our tunnel visioned minds, we think that God will only use things that are praising Him, or serving Him directly. But again, the beauty of God is that He is unfathomable, and He does things that no one will expect, that's what makes Him God.

We are so drawn to this idea that God will be harnessed, that we forget how wild God really is. One of my favorite quotes from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is, in reference to Aslan (the Christ/God figure), "He doesn't like being tied down, and of course he has other countries to attend to. It's quite all right. He'll often drop in. Only you mustn't press him. He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion." Wait, what? God's not tame? No he's not. And neither should our view of a Christian lifestyle be that it is tame.

Going back to the beginning where I said that I was viewing life as more of a love story, it's really changed me. I used to think that I would only date again, or truly like a girl again when it was logical. Then I thought, dating will never happen because what about love is logical? We don't give up our single, self-oriented lives for a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend who will make us angry, cost us money, and annoy the crap out of us. We do it because it's how God wired us. Now applying this to our walks with Christ, we don't follow Christ because it's logical. It will exhaust us, cost us our finances, our social standings, and in many cases our lives. No, we do it because it's the way God made us. He made us to desire a relationship with Him, and for us to follow Him.

I challenge you to broaden the way you look at life, and especially the way you view God and the ways He works. And lastly, remember this; we were made for love.

Ere this Time

Ere this time, the hoofs of the horses pounded on the battlefields,

the green, vast fields where men lay slain and others still fought. 

Ere this time, the clash of steel against steel, strength against strength,

when men proved themselves against others.

Ere this time, the arrows whistled through the air before they plunged into flesh,

and the dying man's breath was heard one last time.

Ere this time, shattered shields covered broken men,

and the victors stood over the bloodied field.

Ere this time, men rode tall in their saddles,

while women dreamed of heroes. 

Ere this time, battles were visible,

fought by armies.

Ere this time, chivalry guided the hearts of men,

and helped the lady in distress.

Ere this time, women were ladies,

and men were men. 

How I long to live ere this time.

If only I lived ere this time.